I may not reach the bottom, but I’ll beat the hell outta the sides.

I’ve never actually witnessed one of those things going faster than, say, 88 MPH.

I don’t know about you, but I’m intrigued over the prospects of wearing a thong and cooking with hot oil. Nothing will surely go wrong there.

I remember doing bike rides in smoky air that looked like autumnal fog and thinking to myself that extra water was exactly what I needed.

A nice draft would go a long ways towards washing away the stench around the bay area, and some ocean wind would also help clear out the smoke.

Ultimately, what caused the fire were strong localized down slope winds that managed to snap power lines that weren’t shut off because it was a such a localized event. The rainy season in California doesn’t really reliably start at the same time every year so there are years where autumn goes dry while winter and…

I’ve been calling the BYU/Utah games the Jell-O Cup for years now.

Try Washington, we have the mountains that Utah has, we have areas where desert scenes abound, and unlike Utah, we have the wet side of the state with old-growth forest and coastline. The abundant wine and beer is just complimentary.

C’mon Utah, the rest of the country already has a term to describe beer with less than 4 ABV...it’s called “baby formula.”

So here I am mildly freaking out over losing the beer that I commonly drank back when it was known as “skater-ade” but still feeling good about having Olympia and Rainier to fall back on...

It could be worse, the Oregon Duck “hand O” signal means vagina in ASL.

Going with deplorable in your name? Oh, the irony...

Most coaches are known for employing the prevent defense during situations where they don’t want to be burned over the top. Jeff Fisher is known for employing the prevent offense in situations where his team needed points to help win the game.

Nongshim is a good instant variety from Korea. It actually has spice so the only thing I need to add to the soup are thinly sliced onions and poached eggs. The only downside is the price (twice as expensive than most other instant varieties).

I, for one, would appreciate random congratulatory ass pats throughout the day.

I can’t speak for anyone else, but my appreciation for native Americans quadrupled. 

I think people must’ve taken the term Halloween candy literally. There’s definitely a difference between regular candy and candy that only seems to pop up once a year around Halloween. 

Try using jarred pizza sauce or make a sauce recipe from Serious Eats such as https://www.seriouseats.com/recipes/2010/10/new-york-style-pizza-sauce.html. I’ve gone the marinara route before and while it’s definitely palatable on pizza, it’s not optimal.

To be fair, one slice of deep-dish is enough to cure a moderate appetite and two slices will put the eater into a food coma for an hour.

A proper pizza has a crust that’s study enough to support the weight of the toppings. Also, a proper pizza actually has toppings in the first place (cheese is not a topping).