Hey, we allowed this guy to drive and he drove himself nuts. It’s really for your protection!

The bottom one, specifically. 

I still have nightmares over the pork chops I ate when I was a child. Whenever I complained about the lack of moisture, texture, flavor or general absence of any quality that would make a pork chop palatable my mother would retort, “well it’s better than spending a day in the bathroom!” When I found out that it was…

This.

I’m with you. Bacon doesn’t need to be crispy and crumbly for me to enjoy it. I worked at a pizza place and we’d prep the bacon just enough so that it still had some pliability to it, otherwise it would burn when it was put on top of a pizza. We had one customer who kept on insisting that the bacon on their cobb salad…

I’ve never actually seen macaroni salad on the menu of any teriyaki places in the areas north of Seattle or in Seattle proper. Most places serve an iceberg salad with some kind of white dressing that I opt to forego.

I’m in a similar boat. I’m right dominant when it comes to skateboarding, playing instruments and sports but I write and eat left handed. If I remember correctly, I had to use left-handed scissors when I was in school but now it doesn’t matter which hand I use the scissors with.

Onionface just doesn’t have the same “ring” to it.

I’m not a huge fan of chunky pizza sauce so I’ll run the tomatoes through a blender along with an anchovy and some cloves of roasted garlic. The sauce already has fresh garlic added to it but the roasted garlic just adds even more garlicky depth. I tend to skip the sugar when I’m planning on using the sauce for a…

Honestly, given the current state of health in this country, three hours of gym per day wouldn’t necessarily be a bad thing. I got stuck in a couple of classes that I didn’t really qualify for and I would’ve loved to ditch them in favor of more phys ed. I didn’t really need the extra exercise back then since I was…

Morality is all about pushing the will of an imaginary being on people who are confirmed to exist. It’s really that simple!

I’d be willing to bet that growing up in a religious environment contributed significantly to the worldview of these children. They’re so afraid of going to the unconfirmed place called hell that they’re willing to make life a living hell for people who are actually alive and confirmed to exist.

I’ve been tossing few poached eggs on top of stir-fry made with udon noodles, onion, red bell pepper, and cashews.

That it the only way to do nachos. If I’m feeling up to it, I also add taco meat and chopped green onion. I’ve been using El Yucateco’s green habanero sauce but I also have a bottle of Dave’s ghost pepper sauce on hand for when I need to take the nachos into “hurt me, please!” territory.

I won’t even touch that yellowish cheese-like abomination. If I’m at a place that sells cheap nachos, I use chili as a topping and if I can’t get chili, I just get a hot dog instead. When I’m at home I place the chips on a plate with as minimal of an overlap as possible and top each one with a pepper ring, taco meat,…

This broad not only married Donald Trump but allegedly let him dump his Minute Made-like load into her box to make another human.

Vegetable lasagna is but a mere shadow of the good lasagna made with ground meat in it.

Green Bay supports football because for all intents and purposes, the Packers are Milwaukee’s/Wisconsin’s team.

This is true. It’d be nice for the Mets to get a crosstown rival.

Buddy of mine recently brought over some bargain bin BBQ pork jerky and the only noticeable flavor I could detect in it was a musty tomato flavor. The ingredient label plainly stated tomato flavor on it and now I’m wondering if that was fake tomato flavoring. Either way, everything that I eat now that has any kind of…