I always figured I’d get ungreyed for making a particularly funny dick joke. It turns out all I had to do was list what condiments I prefer with my weiners.

Unrelated to the video I posted, but I actually did a cover of the original version of Forming not too long ago. It’s about as uncomplicated as one would expect from a bunch of teen aged non-prodigies so I was able to nail it.

If you’re willing to stretch meanings, they can both at the same time.

I hope so, I can still beat Jesus Montero in a footrace.

The only time weed ever made me puke came courtesy of a gravity bong. I’m surprised I didn’t fall down and hit my head during my feeble attempts to walk during that head trip.

He’s currently undergoing a Schrödinger’s CATscan.

Chris Snelling, the Aussie who was supposed to be but never was.

the degree to which ESPN should be political

I know people are trying to compare this situation to the one[s] that lead up to the firing of Curt Schilling. They claim that ESPN isn’t being consistent with discipline but Schilling made controversial statements multiple times and when he was told not to cross the line again, he went and did so anyway. ESPN…

Alright Beaver Cleaver, let’s make a deal. If the white right promises to fuck right off starting no later than midnight of September 18, we’ll gladly stand down. Oh, wait, you’re not going to do that are you? It seems as if we’re at an impass here.

ASU is the Rob Gronkowski of PAC-12 schools.

We need to hold hip-hop demolition day and put it out to pasture so it can hang out with disco - it’s superior ancestor - for all of eternity. The genre’s been taking on water for the better part of a decade and advances in music production technology have only served to make the highly visible popular side of the…

You can say that he went up to meet The Girl Who Lives On Heaven Hill.

Midwesterners would mistakenly use a slice of NY-style as a napkin - it’s certainly hard enough to differentiate between the two.

This is a funny way to separate the gen Xer’s and older millenials from the youts.

The dough is unleavened so it doesn’t rise like a standard pizza dough would. The first time I attempted to make pizza dough, I accidentally used cold water and it caused the yeast to fail to activate. The resulting pizza kind of resembled a baked pita chip on the bottom and was impossible to fold. That’s not such a…

It’s really better if you think of it less as pizza and more as pizza-flavored nachos. The provel cheese sounds abhorrent, but the cracker crust can hold a small dump truck’s load of toppings, so at least there’s one redeeming quality in it.

I believe Lou Holtz speaks in a phlegmish dialect.

“No way you could say something like that in the media about Obama without backlash or trouble.”

I’d be a snowboarder if I didn’t need to put up a 2nd mortgage on my house just to afford a lift ticket. Skateboarding is way cheaper and just as much fun, plus I don’t need to freeze my ass off in order to successfully partake.