This deserves all the stars. I love this skit.

I like the assumption that we’ll have any choice in the matter. Any encounter we have with aliens will probably end up more like Ms. Rafferty’s experience than anything remotely pleasant.

If they’re not grown in the San Marzano region, they’re just “sparkling tomatoes.” I thought everyone knew that.

She is always on. That’s why she became an actress. People who are totally into publicity, fame, and exposure - thrive with the opportunity to be always on. They are miserable without an opportunity to shine. I know a lot of people can’t relate to that, but to anyone who loves being in the public eye and thrives on…

I know someone who knew her in Toronto, who commented that she was “always on”. Watching their wedding ceremony - Harry clearly seemed to be in love, Megan just seemed like.....”look at me playing the role of the serene bride”. It was just odd - I realize that lots of people are watching and that may make a person a…

And this is why married men live longer.  

My mom bugged my dad to go to the doctor for an x-ray after he hadn’t been well for awhile. Well. The doctor saw a shadow on dad’s x-ray which turned out to be a pancreatic tumor. It apparently had been causing his flu-like symptoms. So you just don’t know.

I don’t think Megan will leave that life voluntarily, but for how long will the royals put up with her? No one meets more sycophants than royalty and they usually don’t let them come close, except Harry who has a history of dating women who seem very thrilled at dating someone with a title. She’s pregnant though,…

Most important story is Whoopi’s fight with pneumonia. She nearly died, and her terrifying experience is something we should learn from. There are several lessons:

OMG SAME! Me and my pal have been NO MEGAN from the jump. And we’re old ladies. Our dear departed moms used to LOATHE, DETEST, ABHOR, Princess Margaret (they were living in England from the late 40's to early 60's) and LOVE Diana and we’ve often said the moms would not be a bit happy about Harry and Megan. She’s a…

eh. i doubt it. there are so many events and pomp and circumstance, press, etc. someone like meghan lives for this role. she never has to be off - and believe me that is what she thrives on. i don’t think she is going to wince at any of it. she can handle the expectations. and as miss goody two shoes will not slip up.…

Me neither. They’re just too different. Five years, two kids and she’s back to LA. Or maybe Canada, with her bestie Jessica Mulroney, in which case I could see Harry possibly being “allowed” to join her. They could become royal exiles like the Duke and Duchess of Windsor. 

Social climbers don’t last though. This seems like Heather Mills 2.0

Totally agree. I think she'll also do well in part because she really wants this in a way that others, like Diana, didn't. You can tell Megan really wants the royal attention and power and titles, so even though she will still probably get irked by the rules every now and then, she'll suck it up and deal.

i know someone who knows her ex. long before any of this came about he would refer to her as ‘the social climber.’ it’s easy to see that’s 100% true. i see her coming across as a little insufferable and ultra egotistical - which feels annoying b/c i really don’t think she is that beautiful. she looks like what she is…

I get a bad vibe from Megan Markle. I know I'm very alone having that feeling, but I just don't think this will be a "and they lived happily ever after"

He also used to let pedophilic record producers fuck around with Michael when he was a child. I think you’re being a tad naive about his firm hand. 

Joe was the stage dad from hell before there was such a thing. The fact that his evil ass made it to 89 proves the good die young yet the horrible someone manage to hang on forever. Evil really is a life sustaining force. It’s what keeps Dick Cheney going.

His “guidance”? He used to beat his kids with a switch and a strap. He used to sit with the strap in his lap while the kids rehearsed to scare them. Fuck him.

Yes, beating the living shit out of his kids and torturing them psychologically certainly made some great records.