Bengals fans want to note that they sucked last year but not the year before, so the “drop” in fans is the difference between Winning the Division and Being a Lottery Contender if not for the Jets’s efforts.

Waiting for the BernieBros to notice their hero is in that Deborah Gibson film.

Cue reference to Charlie Jane Anders’s best-ever movie review:

So do the Red Sox, who will not see many 8-on-9 games during the regular season.

NOW I understand Betsy DeVos’s obsession with bears. Thank you.

“

Don’t tell Carmelo.

MSU, despite the name, is a private institution.

Donald Trump fails this test.

“Not from an overall policy perspective, mind you, but from the perspective of understanding the legal environment the President operates in and also understand the Beltway in general.”

Declares as fact multiple statements with less than no evidence. Inept at the Federal level, saved in his job only because he was a…

Having hope and depending on Pat Toomey? I don’t think I could handle half of whatever you’re on.

No, but only because my basement isn’t legal for occupancy. They can have the spare bedroom.

So this is the guy who replaced one of the best GMs in the business, Kevin Towers (who is now being wasted by MLB)?

Did the taxpayers of San Diego also buy the owner a new stadium?

Under 15 seconds for a 120-yard dash with corners?

“I forgot that no one at [Deadspin] has ever had sex before, so none of them knew what I was talking about.”

WINS THE INTERNET FOR THE DAY.

I’ll still bet an all-female remake of _League of Extraordinary Gentlemen_ would gross as well or better than the original.

Strangely, all male starring vehicles still happen.

“Dignity" and "Lupica" are not words that should ever be seen near each other without a "not" or "except."

Don't neglect the most famous vegetarian dentist ever to graduate from McGill (who may eventually provide his promised $3MM to the eponymous Shatner Center).

It will probably still outgross _K-Pax_.

70/800 = 8.75% p.a. This is bullshit.

And that's without noting that the taxpayer pillaging that took place to build the Ballpark at Arlington for Shrub and his cronies includes the only known time when farmers were put out of business due to taxes.