I'd guess that the median Deadspin commenter is a 34-year-old white male with middle-to-high income but also above-average alcohol consumption. So we're taking about a remaining live expectancy of 47 years, give or take. My best guess is that you'll die in 2060, perhaps just a few days before Sasha Obama wins her…

Hi Nate,

Look at Zach trying to make us think his dick actually reaches his bellybutton.

Titans fans are just off-duty SEC fans. These are the people who spend every Saturday watching UT lose and then root for Alabama in the national title game at the end of the season as a way of mooching off a bit of their glory.

"Looks straight to me"

We're up 5-1 in the final minutes. I guess you'd say we've...

...got them cornered.

(YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!)

You'd think that Silver would have run a regression on Olbermann's employment history first....

I think her point is a million dollars is not enough money to buy or do everything you want but it is enough money to make a career change and take in that risk vs. staying in a steady role at Sports Illustrated. I get that what she had already sounds like a dream come true but it is really a matter of perspective.

It might not change your life if you're already making almost half a mil a year. It would sure as fuck change my life, though.

Ilya Bryzgalov has also claimed to be spending the offseason studying at one of England's other prestigious schools, Hogwarts.

Great writeup Greg

Great article, Owen.

$12 a case.

More like stupid answer to reasonable question.

Alt Headline: Ridiculous "Witness" Gives Disrespectful and Offensive Answer To Reasonable Remark By Lawyer

I've never seen a bigger train wreck in my life than Rachel Jeantel

How is this a perfect answer? This is actually an offensive use of the term. One that Gawker would be all over if anyone with pale skin or a position of power had used in a public setting.

What is the point of making a mockery of this kid who clearly doesn't deserve it? Careful, Deadspin, you're trolling a little too much lately, and it isn't worth the reputation you've gained.

Am I the only one who thinks this is kind of wrong of Deadspin? It's not even the famous guy himself, it's his son... Getting dirt to make fun of the kid is cruel and unnecessary.

Also, Duncan Keith with a criminally stupid roughing penalty around that same time.