When asked about his offensive line play, Petty said, “Don’t do me like that”

Trainers knew Petty was concussed when they asked him where Ryan Fitzpatrick went to college and he didn’t know the answer.

North Carolina certainly seems committed to taking the title of “Most Embarrassing Carolina” away from South Carolina this year.

He is busy trying to talk me into a ShamWow, but once he gets back to the shelter, he will return your call.

I know the PERFECT man for the job.

This is so amazing. The Jeff Fisheriest thing that could ever happen...

On the bright side, this should give the Rams some added leverage when negotiating Fisher’s next contract. 

For sale: Browns jersey, never won.

“Cleveland faces the Bills next Sunday” was the first draft of Hemingway’s famous six-word story.

#GPODAWUND

While the unenforceable anti-trans stuff may be “for show,” there are far more sinister ordinances in the bill designed to basically cut municipal laws off at the knees - stuff like cities’ ability to set their own minimum wage standards, for example. This bill is essentially the “small government” GOP reps at the…

If you are in a bathroom and you can’t spot the transgendered person, it means YOU ARE THE TRANSGENDERED PERSON!!!!1!!!

“unenforceable law”

Rather than purchase a car from either company, you can now invest directly in the Saleen-Hennessey Investment Trust (SHIT). There’s no more efficient financial instrument for disposing of unwanted capital.

People need to understand Saleen just blinks in and out of existence at will. They’re not bound by conventional corporate finances in much the same way as electrons don’t obey Newtonian mechanics.

Yeah that's cool and all but the real story in Fargo is that Alexis Texas is performing st the strip club tonight