Aubrey decommitted when they addressed the thank you note to Drake.

I’ll admit it right here and now, I was the winning bidder for the Ecurie Ecosse D-Type. Here she is, in all her glory.

And this is why Michael Jackson couldn’t win a race: unlike Bolt, he preferred to come in a little behind.

When [Modest Mouse lead singer Isaac] Brock left the scene he backed into a cop car, but he just drove off. Sometimes life is okay.

I had to stop talking to my Marcus. At first he was pestering me to join the MLM he was getting into “Dude its backed by TRUMP!” Then he was hitting me up to help sell the shitty product “Dude 40% commission!” Then he wanted me to buy off some of his inventory for cheap “This shit is killing me sitting here!” Then he…

which features Martellus saying that “NFL” stands for “Niggers For Lease”

When I ask the brothers what they would collect if they were as wealthy as the Cowboys’ owner, they respond at the same time and without skipping a beat: “People.”

“Worst quarterback in the NFL,” [Michael] says.

Amatuers.

Host Cars & Coffee in your living room.

51 years old and still running down pedestrians like the day she rolled off the lot.

Yep. There’s a reason I don’t plan to live any longer than 74 years or the first sign of Alzheimers, whichever comes first. Got 46 years to go!

That sound exactly like something a 74 year old person afflicted with Alzheimers would say.

next time ask him if it covers you when you leave Cars and Coffee.

This is absolute gold ; ‘but I wish him well in the competition,”. Drops mic and walks away with Olivia Munn.

Starting it off early this year.

The only way to stop a bad guy with a Hilux is to send a good guy with a Hilux. Or something...

Close. Throw his knee ligaments in that pic and you’d be spot on.