My dad is also an engineer and worked for a defense contractor, he would be a great running mate for your dad. The things he’s told me about the money wasted on getting the same exact maintenance contract approved annually are insane.

I have a couple friends who have their not even tween sons in baseball year round. I just want to shake them and yell “Why are you signing your kid up for a lifetime of pain & surgery.” But, y’know, “he likes to play.” That’s great, but 7 days a week of throwing and catching is a bit much at that age, as any competent…

Too bad for them that it’s also on our local Fox affiliate’s website.

Wooostaaaaah

Most often heard on the highway when they cut you off to pass someone on the right.

I’m super glad my mom is first generation in this country so I can get Irish citizenship.

There already was a disaster, over the weekend. 20 people died. Governors were begging for him to send FEMA on Monday.

Well obviously only brown folk are here illegally. Every Russian in Brighton beach and Sheepshead Bay = totally legal. They certainly aren’t involved in drug trafficking, human trafficking, or Medicare fraud at the clinics they set up. And no one ever stays here illegally when their visa expired, they only get here by…

Even states without a major national park state have National Historic Sites that are staffed & maintained by rangers. Many are in cities. The presentation at Ford’s Theater is done by a ranger. Rangers work at Independence Hall. That is why the rangers maintaining the AltUSNatParkService twitter account could really…

That is fucking amazing.

Sunday was the first time I was happy with Chuck Todd since he took over Meet the Press. Every time she stopped talking he said “But you still haven’t answered the question.” I think sometimes even the interviewers forget the question the way she spews word vomit, but he asked her four times. And “alternative facts…

And the original statement, before he started answering questions, was very carefully worded. “The President does believe that.” Not “we,” not “the White House.” Leaves him off the hook.

I definitely think GWB, Laura, Michelle, and Barack are on a group chat, and the last three days are just “Can you fucking believe this guy?” followed by the sick green face emoji. Also Bush 41 is probably rallying health wise just so he can punch Trump in the nuts for that total dick move he pulled at the CIA the…

You won’t. Ex-President’s Club is pretty tight-lipped in public. I do think he might start joining Clinton for lunch with 41 & 43 though.

Yeah I wouldn’t call myself a liberal I’m still cool with punching Nazis though. My brothers are pretty conservative, they’re down with it too. You don’t have to be a lefty to hate Nazis. They don’t like us Catholics much either.

You can keep telling your kid violence isn’t the answer, but if she starts getting her ass kicked on the playground, you need to teach her how to throw a punch. My niece was getting her lunch stolen every day. She went to the teacher, it kept on. They went to the principal, it went on. They involved the other parent,…

Word, can we make a signup sheet with time slots and such?

Nah we did this at a catering hall I worked at, you just make sheet cakes to serve the guests and then a small part of the bottom tier is real for the bride & groom to cut, and the top tier is real for them to take home.

This is from the CIA speech.

My dad has to do this tape thing sometimes because he is a tall dude and has a long torso. He buys extra long ties sometimes but if it’s a gift tie then all bets are off. If he ties it so it reaches the loop he looks like a guidance counselor from the 70s. He hates tie pins/bars. He is better at the tape thing though…