Yes, but we probably beat them in the “beat your significant other” category.

One aspect of all of this that isn’t being properly humped: the firm hired for ball analysis (ha!) by the NFL (called Exponent) - is known for producing wonderful reports for tobacco companies that say secondhand smoke doesn’t cause cancer:

There are specific rules about cheating when it comes to tampering with the ball. So, even if they have evidence that he did personally tamper - the punishment has no relation to what is outlined in the rules, a 25k minimum with no cap. That no cap part makes this technically within the rules, but still bullshit.

My understanding is that the phone company doesn’t have...contents of any texts

It’s intentionally broad. The NFL loves nothing more than granting itself the power to chop your balls off for farting at an inappropriate time. They don’t even know that they want that ability, so they think up stuff so broad that they can fine you for scratching your balls before a snap.

conducting themselves in a fashion that suggests they are hiding something and may be guilty and not being forthcoming

Whats the issue here? This is pretty much the same for anyone working for any large corporation.

Who the hell are they even catering to anymore?

“Par for the course” is the terrifying part. This behavior should not be happening anywhere. Was this the point of moving towards an industrialized society? I thought the point was that we don’t need to work as hard as our ancestors, regardless of whatever corporate asshat managers think.

In America, yes. In Japan, no. Other companies will find out that you quit during a demotion and not be interested, because “corporate culture.” They leave money on the table and avoid hiring employees from competitors out of some perverted honor or something (though I just call it collusion). This article talks about…

The acceleration she gets on that shot is amazing.

“The fecal veneer is the theoretical construct that the world is covered with a thin layer of feces...You can’t see fecal veneer. You can’t smell it. But it’s there...It varies only in it’s thickness.”

Hm, that seems like it carries the danger of 1. your ringer accidentally not being on silent, and 2. somebody answering your phone for you if it rings. You’ve gotta take that thing with you.

Blankly staring straight forward for 2.5 minutes at a door is un-American. You have to have a screen whenever you are presented with a visually unexciting locale.

I’m astounded by the current poll numbers saying that nearly half of people don’t take a phone with them into the stall. Why the fuck not? Is this not America anymore?!

If all they want is clear pee, they should latch onto my continuous caffeine and beer diet. It’s really fun!

I’m hoping for the 1/1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 chance that both Trump and Sanders get the nomination, because then we would likely end up with a Bernie Sanders presidency!

Is part of the reason that there can’t be a male fighter who dominates this completely that men are more likely to knock each other out? As in, the best male fighter could fuck up once and get clocked by an inferior opponent, resulting in an upset knockout - but if Rousey ever fucked up she would just eat a strike…

legitimate, accredited marine mammal trainers

They don’t want rescues though - they want trained attractions in tiny cement ponds.