Every time I see an article like this, I wonder “Why am I working when I could just grind up some grass and stick it in a jar of Vaseline and sell it to credulous people who work for startups bloated with Saudi cash?”

No.

I simply do not have the emotional energy left to deal with these feckless, stupid assholes and their weak chins.

Can we address Darlene Superville for a minute?

I don’t do it for the likes or retweets, I do it because more than likely both him and his father read every single tweet for validation, and hopefully they die just a little inside every time they see one from me.

I realize this guy is a moron, but why in the hillbilly fuck would he even agree to go on this show?

I tweet that at him on a daily basis actually. 

Who’s going to break it to Junior that daddy will never love him no matter how many dumb “libs drool” books he writes and Fox News appearances he makes?

How I imagine most conversations go between Junior and his father:

I genuinely don’t think Melania can make anything other than the “someone’s just farted” face. I assume it’s a mix of botox/face fillers and pure hatred of having to put up with Trump for access to his money.

Fuck all this Melania horseshit, Trump’s calling Joyce’s wife a “looker” is a sarcastic insult right in front of that Rep & his wife’s face. Alice Joyce is NOT a looker — fuck, she’s a plain as mayo on Wonder bread pimple popping doc living it up in Altoona.  Trump is slamming the dudes wife right in front of a full…

The Dowager Countess of Grantham: spittin’ pearls since 1842.   

She hasn’t cried or even closed her eyes since he brought her home from the Stepford factory. 

Never forget.

She and Jared regularly meet for buffing and polishing sessions.

Sometimes I think Laura Benanti’s imitation of Melania’s expression is too OTT. Then I see a picture like the one at the top here, and think, “nope, spot on.”

I don’t spend much time thinking about Melania, because “eww”, but it just occurred to me that I’ve never seen her express emotion. I mean at all. I know the botox and plastic surgery are part of it, but seriously, has anyone seen her express ANY emotion, other than a vague tiny smile? Are we sure she’s not a robot?

I was coming here to say she has become her own wax figure. No need for Madame Tussaud’s. 

The dowager on Downton Abbey said as much.

I legit thought they were all posing with a wax figure of Melania. Then again, Melania is more wax and plastic than human being these day. But I honestly didn’t think she was a real person when I first looked at that top photo.