As a fan of the classics I much prefer the original douchebag manual:

Yeah, and I don’t mean to imply that it’s just the big stuff that’s upsetting. I can’t imagine having to put up with more subtle forms of racism on a daily basis. But I guess you do it because...what else can you do.

How can you be a black person in this country and remain sane? I hear stories like this (I’m white) and cry, shake with anger, and get nauseated with fury. How do you live like that? How you not snap? How do you not take it out on everyone in your life that doesn’t have to put up with shit like this?

That isn’t what your mom says!

Yet again blacks are thugs, but white college students rioting because their favorite team didn’t win a game is just “kids being kids”.

Beautiful girls get everything they want, and then we wonder why they're not always so nice. Ever seen a spoiled 2 year old?

Thanks, I’ma recommend everything you said on principle.

Ooooh sounds like you need to dish, honey! Who was saying all that? Make them eat those words...with a side salad and a diet coke.

How about I apologize on their behalf?

So I'm black.

And since some willfully ignorant dipshit is bound to yell that they don't believe you (because they don't want to) here's a source they can deliberately not read:

What about the time Virgin denied my 21st Amendment rights because "Ma'am, you're being belligerent and we have to cut you off." I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA.

Hello friend!

Me too!

"Is probably"??? Way to go with the assumptions. I agree that her homophobia is shitty enough, but heaping assumptions about what else she might be strikes me as just as bad. Like, *some* people assume that black people are anti-semitic, which would make those that assume racist.

(I enjoy it.)

She's had her problems but this is some next level intelligent sh*t she said on Twitter:

I think I would first get to know you well enough to know what's on your present wish list. Then, I would solicit an attack from you. After you see me bloodied, and lying half-conscious on the floor you'd see the perfect present I'd gotten you drop from my jacket.

I screamed at him ever profanity, told him that he did not know who he was dealing with, and had unleashed a beast far beyond any that he was prepared to deal with. I picked him apart flaw by flaw, piece by piece, and screamed that he better not fucking ever so much as whisper out of line if he didn't want me to…