For the love of all that is holy i really hope they tap you to write a response to this article.

Glycerin can cause yeast infections in those who are prone, yes.

Whatever, it’s gonna be Jon. He is ice (others) and Dany is fire (dragons). Plus, can you imagine the amount of fire orgasms Melisandre would have if she saw Dany and her dragons. Girl is the princess who was promised.

I want to know which country she visited an erotic theater in.

Gwynnie,

Goop sex is where, after finishing, you take the bodily fluids that result, smear them on your taint and drag it across the floor a la butt scoot so you leave a trail like a snail.

I think everyone on that show was brainwashed by Stefano at some point. But my favorite was the Kristen/Kirsten/Evil twin Kirsten story! She kept Marlena locked in a cell and then used a body double to pretend to be pregnant for her, and the body double had an evil twin somehow!!!! Dun.Dun.Dunnnnnnn!!!!! I also loved…

Remember that weird as fuck Sharidan/Princess Di story line? What even?

I loved passions too!!! TIMMY AND TABITHA FOR LIFE.

I think that was Bo and Hope? Marlena was the devil for a little bit—what fun that was!

If they went that route, they’d be responsible for my death, death by the purest bliss.

Marlena, John, the 14 reincarnations of Stefano DeMeira...

Nah, I am waiting for the ultimate dig. If she’s pregnant with a boy, she names the young heir Robert Kardashian III. After the child’s father, and of course, his grandfather. I think Kris, Kourtney, Kim, and Khloe would implode. Their precious father’s name given to this child born from Blac Chyna?! But rightfully…

Basically, this all means that the Kardashian/Jenner family tree is about to look like the tangled pile of wires behind your TV.

Thank you god, for showing me you exist with this wonderful and terrible blight. Kontinue to bestow us with these riches, as you did with Lot.

OH GOD, I miss days of our lives, like..90's days. Not like all the people from passions some how got a job in salem, you know?

I feel like the Kardashians are setting it up so that thousands of years from now, much like Ghengis Khan, everyone will be able to trace their geneology back to them.

LET IT ALL BURN