I once saw a couple of tourists ask a cop in a subway station which train to take to get to Times Square. he pointed at a train and said “take this one two stops.” the problem? we were standing in the Times Square station. he was pointing at the shuttle train that goes between Times Square and Grand Central.
My husband and I toured the Paris Catacombs. It was one of the pivotal experiences in my life - I emerged with a profound acceptance of my own mortality, along with some insight into the darker side of human nature. While we were in there, we saw a woman (an American, sunnysunny-blond, moneyed, extremely entitled) pry…
Several halloweens ago, I was at a house party with a few friends and lots of people I didn’t know. I walked into the bathroom and walked right in on a nun giving a BJ to Jesus while he was drinking a glass of wine and smoking a cig.
My friend used to be in an emo-band back in the early aughts, but eventually he and everyone else from the band moved on, except for the guy on keyboard who was still trying to eke-out an existence as a musician. (Total stereotype of an emo guy, too. Hair dyed black covering three-fifths his face, jeans so tight they…
Mentioning the 9/11 gift shop always makes me think of this.
Oh! I have another one. I had to shake Donald Trump’s hand during the Peace at church on Easter Sunday. Two years in a row.
My Jewish parents attended mass given at the Vatican by Pope John Paul II. I asked why, and my dad told me he was hungry and wanted the cracker.
This is a different kind of sacrilege but I’ll share it anyway. When I was in the 4th grade, I started singing with the adult church choir. One of the adults, a lovely woman who later became my third grade teacher, would often give me a ride home after practice.
#FarmToCauldron
When people question my adoration for Brooklyn, I generally point to fantastic shit like this. Also, I am sure that they are casting fair-trade, farm to table spells. I hope this has a YOOGE impact on this double-loser’s campaign
The best thing about Brooklyn Witches is that you just know they’re using locally sourced Newt’s Eye.
Uh, kids? This is a copy of the copy of the ‘70s that we did in the ‘90s. Pretty sure I wore several of these outfits in my senior portraits/sorority pictures. (Shut up.)
WheRe eVerYthIng is WriTTen LiKe tHis!
I have a penchant for hideous florals. I love them. I will be fashionable this season with my Mary Jane clogs.
Add a headband with a couple rhinestone flowers, and this is straight out of a 1992 Delia’s catalog. Oh sorry, Delia*s.
I like this fabric! For a chair.
Got it. Don’t have kids to save a marriage. Don’t go on a cruise to save a relationship.
Someone who works for a major cruiseline told me this happens on a semi-regular basis: wife/girlfriend disappears at sea, then the FBI/authorities board and pull the man (almost always, man) off the boat when the vessel docks. Horrifying.