From the time she was first born, she was always raised as being currently a 26 year old. It’s a parenting/life strategy.

“I’ve always been raised as being currently a 26-year-old,”

I had a co worker leave weight loss surgery pamphlets on my desk, so I could be pretty for my wedding. (I am very overweight but that wasn’t actual a surprise to my fiancé.)

I hope she doesn’t mind me posting her pic. She’s beautiful, so it wasn’t difficult to make her look amazing. And her horse won the Derby that day! Lucky girl!

I got a new tattoo a few months before my wedding, my boss said to me “did you think about how it will show during your wedding?” I responded with “yes I did, because its permanent and on my arm in a very obvious place I wanted it to show on every day of my life and definitely on my wedding day that’s why its a tattoo…

I’m a nailbiter - I’m getting this about that. I also gained a lot of weight right before I got engaged, and haven’t really tried to lose it for the wedding (I’ve been trying to make sure I am healthy, but like, not focusing on ME in that DRESS). This is really making people close to me feel weird. It’s not that I…

I've worn specs since I was 9. So many people told me to get contacts for my wedding. Urgh. I am a sexy specsy lady and I love my face furniture. I was really upset, it was like they thought I'd looked terrible for ages but now was their chance to rescue me? My glasses rock and so do I.

I got “It’s such a shame that your tattoos will show in most wedding dresses, it’s a shame you didn’t think about that before you got them!” Um, I generally don’t make lifelong physical appearance decisions based on what will look “appropriate” for ONE FUCKING DAY. Not only that, but it isn’t like my tattoos will go…

And just a sidenote, I really hate that as a single woman, if I say one slightly critical thing about the hysteria of weddings, everyone slyly suggests that I’m just jealous.

I knew a bride who figured the cost of hair extensions, and their maintenance for at least six months, into her wedding budget.

Oh god, and the people who expect you to lose weight before your wedding are the absolute worst. No matter how slim and fit you are, they expect you to immediately hit the gym in a tank that says #SweatingForTheWedding.

But short hair only highlights how beautiful a face is. And this is coming from someone that went from a shaved head to mermaid hair. I never felt more beautiful with way less effort than when I did with half an inch of hair, and I suspect it’s the same for a lot of women.

Yes, this. My mom did the same thing with my hair. I got married recently and when she flew out to visit, the FIRST THING she said upon seeing my hair was, “Oh good, it grew out! I was worried it was going to be too short!”

Since ours was “pop up” style and we had to wait for the company to come out with their dates, people who weren’t even invited were basically freaking the fuck out about when it would be. People basically short-circuited when I said “sometime in January or February. Not sure yet.”

YOU CAN ONLY GET MARRIED IF YOU FIT EVERY TRADITIONAL MARKER FOR FEMININITY, DONTCHAKNOW.

Wait- people aren’t supposed to get married with short hair? That’s a thing? The feck?

And here I thought not dyeing my hair purple before my wedding was a big deal. No one tried to guilt me out of doing martial arts or anything like that. Holy crap.

That is the one thing that drives me ABSOLUTELY CRAZY when people announce their engagement on Facebook. Seriously asshats, I know you are excited for them and probably want to go to their wedding, but who has a date picked out with a day of getting engaged? (I know...I’m going to get somebody commenting here that…

We called my fiance’s parents about two hours after we got engaged in order to share the happy news, and his dad immediately asked if we’d set a date. Dude, we’ve been engaged for two hours!

The most stressful part of my engagement has been the constant questions about the wedding. Set a date? Booked a venue? Photographer? Caterer? Are you hiring a coordinator? I’ve been extremely busy at work and my fiance went back to school to prepare for a new career, so we’re short on spare time. We’ve been together…