So many failures. I wish more artists would try for other holidays. Let’s get some Thankgiving music going. Easter? Put some romance around the easter bunny.

UGH. Don’t get me wrong, I love Christmas. Well, secular Christmas anyways. But I love it in December, after Halloween and after Thanksgiving have had their time. They do it earlier and earlier every fucking year and what happens is, by the time it’s actually December, I’m TIRED of Christmas. They are ruining the…

Oh please there’s nothing more Christmas than the song featuring a drunkard playing the piano and arguing with the missus.

Take a break from deciding which costume you’re going to wear for a Halloween that falls on a Tuesday and get into the spirit of Christmas.

It’s also the “I just suggested that solution 30 minutes ago and you all dismissed it. But now that someone with a penis is saying it, it has merit” look.

Have your back on this one, Jane. Fuck that crap. Or this: I’d make a terrible “makeup concierge” at the big-box retailer I work for part-time, ‘cause my only “advice” to the women (and men) visiting the cosmetics department would be “You look fine the way you are.”

There is no right way to girl. I sometimes just take eyeliner so I can keep my raccoon mask on fleek.

Luckily, I don't have to dress to impress HeLa cells...