Weekend Update is awful these days, but from everything I've heard, Cecily wanted off the desk because she didn't have enough time to write/perform sketches, which is what she loves.

No, Kanye. No. No. Unacceptable.

"By the way, it's very hard for a woman to want to be [with a man] who's been with Amber Rose. You know what I'm saying? I had to take 30 showers before I got with Kim."

Yes, you asshole, we know what you're saying.

I feel like this was a game of Two Truths and a Lie.

I have no clue who Amber Rose was with before she got with Kanye, but I'm unfortunate enough to know about Kim's boyfriends, ex-husbands, and sex tape urinator. So....

I dig the scale tattoos and salty hair. Momoa was a fantastic choice.

I'm hot/cold on Snyder's work in general, but I often dig his aesthetic choices.

Simple, you head to Geoff, the exceptionally grizzly Octopus who runs the tattoo parlor in the Romanche Trench.

Rob Zombie Hair is the Only Hair for Kings!

Fair enough.

Jut increased the saturation in powerpoint.

Humanity invented farming for beer.

"While it's HIGHLY HIGHLY UNLIKELY that you'll be able to chemically obtain the health benefits of dieting and working out anytime soon"

I think this is the point people have missed focusing on the Paleo Diet. What they really want is the Paleo Workout. Which is very simple. You run. Or at least walk. All day.

Just another reason why it pays to be the runner in front.

I think the Paleo Diet was mostly bugs, based on this list. Now to work that into a TED talk...

Well, not a rabbit — because you will expend more energy wearing him down to than you will get from the meat. You kill a rabbit with a trap, or with a well-thrown rock. But generally, humans and wolves are just about the only predators who run after prey until it drops from exhaustion. Which, by the way, made them…

Paleo Diet:

This could be the greatest achievement of my life. And I'm ok with that.

You know who has really great skin? Beck.