Twerking? C'mon, Joe, that's not new. When you've got a signature move like the Li'l Rufio, give the fans what they want!

In response, Balotelli has declared that he is starting his own social media site called Instaban.

"Yeah, I heard about this one from my staff. I got to the office this morning and they were like, 'Thanks a bundle for making us have to get our wagons in a circle, jerk.'"

Catching a treat on your forehead and balancing it there ain't dumb! That's Ronaldinho-level skills, my friend.

If Demoff spins this thing any harder Odell Beckham is gonna boot it through the uprights.

"But when I do it, it's cute!"

You left out the word "sexist" before the words "movie quote."

As a GenXer there's a lot in there I can identify with, but there's an overarching truth that is necessarily missing: Gen X is now well old enough to know that nothing useful can come from describing our plight, because nobody's going to give a shit. There was a time when some amount of attention was paid to it, but…

Carmel to Florida? Jeebus. From the sublime to the ridiculous.

Yeah, the bloody effigy is really half-assed racism.

Yeah, that's OK because it's just a "powderpuff" symbolic lynching.

What JVF said. Total embedded video cock-tease. WE WANT MAYHEM VIDEO!

Meh. 'Dou was just half a step late and avoided giving the foul. Otherwise he spikes that shit like a volleyball.

Well done, sir.

Jesus Christ, that finger looks like digital hell.

Good man. I like you, Draper.

Jeremy Guthrie serving up taters, Salvador Perez listlessly legging out ground balls to short... c'mon guys, we've seen you bring it better than that.

It's not mentioned for the first ¾ of the SFGate obit, but Alvin Dark had a .289 career average with over 2,000 hits. Not too fucking shabby.

Garrincha must be Brazilian Portugese for "filthy free kick."