For the combatant on the receiving end, this incident gave a new definition to "butthurt."

The officers said they might not have arrested Puig had he not been so blatant about admiring his own speedometer as he drove.

He IS one of the world's best.

"But... the football... his groin... it works on so many levels!"

Hey, when you've already had six kids you can be forgiven for running out of names.

2 buck chuck: another gift to national culture from the San Fernando Valley.

Edgar Martinez deserves to be in Cooperstown, period. I will admit, however, that if I listened to one more line of that godawful merengue song in the Youtube video I was gonna start blaming Edgar for it. Which I know isn't logical or fair, but that's just how atrociously cloying and amateurish that shit was. It's as…

GOOD CALL. Otters are aquatic puppydogs who never get tired of playing. Watching them is popping-bubble-wrap level fun.

Okay, great, now he fixed it and it's too late for me to delete my pertinent-at-the-time comment. Well played, Mr. Petchesky, well played...

speed skaters Bonnie Blair, Eric Heiden, and Caitlin Cahow will be at the closing ceremonies

Other than Jerry Jones, holdovers from the Barry Switzer era must be relieved to hitch their wagons to Ivy League graduate Jason Garrett. Surely Garrett knows that starting from Dallas and crossing the Mississippi is the way to Carolina, not the way to California.

Nice to see paper maché making a comeback. Always suspected Super Mario was arts-and-craftsy.

That's some first class stitching by somebody. The symmetry! Along a curving laceration, too. Although, hang on... 13 stitches? THIRTEEN? Oooh, big mistake.

To the tune of the "la-la-la" section of Simon & Garfunkel's "The Boxer"

Barry is just the designated texter for Jay Berwanger on his right.

Like I've always said, golf sucks.

Damn, Dokes. Even Stevie Wonder landed ONE.

Whaa? I guess I'm not as familiar with military insignia as you are, because I think the Chargers one is kickass.

Summons for you from CBS/Viacom. Sign here, please.

NICE. I like the new EPL-style logos even more than the earlier Bundesliga ones.