I have a feeling there's only one thing keeping them from doing so. It's a three-letter acronym starting with N, and its lawyers just achieved wood in unison at your mere suggestion.

Minor correction: they've now done the German and English league style logos. Still to come are Spain and Italy.

"So that's two eggs mayonnaise, a prawn Goebbels, a Hermann Goering and four Colditz salads... no, wait a moment, I got a bit confused because everyone keeps mentioning the war."

Stay tuned afterward for the Peewee Football Malibu Grand Prix Go-Karts El Torito Bowl, in which the players themselves are blown through the goalposts.

[Signs Daunte Culpepper, announces him as starter for remainder of season]

Puns flow from me like wine from a de Ken Tarr. It is my gift, and my curse.

That won't happen, IMG is a pillar of virtue. I bet you didn't know he's the Ken Tarr at a very prestigious synagogue.

"Hey, I'm on Deadspin! Dave, you owe me ten bucks!"

Shanahan's best shot at keeping his job: bring Dan Snyder proof of his own Native American ancestry and the bloody scalp of Jerry Jones.

Meh. You wanna impress me, Prater? Talk to me when your record has stood for 43 years.

Hasn't this happened on pretty much every pile-up and fumble scrum in NFL history? Are there just more camera angles now?

OutFOXed again...

Nah, Florida. Here in LA there's smog, but no humidity.

Truth is the first casualty of comedy. Or something.

First glance, I'd vote Biggio, Glavine, Maddux, Martinez, Piazza, Raines, Thomas, Morris, and Walker automatically. I'd probably end up voting for Clemens and Bonds despite my disgust at their PED abuse, on the totally unproveable rationale that they would've put up HOF numbers even without the PEDs.

Long snapper? Hell, that ain't nuthin':

I get that we're in the Age of Tatts, but why get a monochrome blue sleeve drawn on your arm?

If Ukraine were in fact a meh team, you would have a point. However, they are not meh. They're a tough side (REALLY tough if you're playing them in Ukraine) with good quality on their roster. But I understand that knowing this kind of info doesn't further your intention to dump on Greg Howard, so whatever.

I enjoyed it a bit more after adjusting the color on the image so that it was recognizable as a bear.

I just wish Ford himself had actually fallen, because it would have led to Deadspin's best "Fat Guy Touchdown" headline yet.