Im in social work too and have received a few texts that weren't meant for me.... But none near as hilarious as that!! Omg I bet that client is so embarrassed

You slayed me with the CAT.

Your ex is a dick.

“Nature’s Crude Stippling” is my new band name now, though, so thank you for that. 

My parrot started imitating her moaning as she was going down on me. She starts laughing uncontrollably and I never got to finish. 

no hand-me-downs or Craigslist

no hand-me-downs or Craigslist

Hello advertisement disguised as an article.

Hello advertisement disguised as an article.

Holy wobblin’ crawdaddies.

Friend set us up. He spent the date humble bragging. I cut things short. He stalked me for like 4-5 months until I humiliated him at a party.

stopped on the way to tell his parents on him.

I probably won’t get out of the greys but here’s one where I’m the horror. I was recovering from MRSA and on sedatives because I was allergic to the antibiotics. I didn’t realize you can’t mix sedatives and alcohol, so when I met my date at a brewery for a Match.com date, I blacked out. Apparently I greeted him with…

A 1500 dollar couch that looks less comfortable than a 199 dollar couch? Who are you kidding with this overpriced nonsense, and what world do you live in where a first time apartment renter is going to have this sort of budget? 

A 1500 dollar couch that looks less comfortable than a 199 dollar couch? Who are you kidding with this overpriced…

Wow this was uh pretty grim.

That's a lot of WTF crammed into one story.

“hitting that hairy hole raw.”

I went out with this dude I wasn’t particularly interested in, because he introduced himself to me at a club as a good friend of my friend Vince, saying Vince thought we would hit it off.

I already contributed, but I’m writing another one where *I* was the horror on the first date.

On one sunny day in August, I’d just received notice that my new job was moving me to Hawaii, and I was in a particularly good mood even at my energy-sucking retail job, where I’d just given my 2 weeks. So I was very quick to chat with every customer, including one who circled back after making a purchase and asked me…

First Date: He took me to a great dinner, nice place, and during asked the waiter how much longer dinner would take, we had a show to get to. I, having no idea about the show, asked what we were seeing. He said he was taking me to the newly opened high class strip joint. I am young, I am impressionable, I have never…

I once went on a first date with a guy, told him I wasn’t interested, and somehow continued to date him for six months.