I have bile salts malapsorption, and one of the effects of this is that sometimes I get just five or ten seconds warning that my bowel is going to empty itself. I have shat myself in public more times than I can count. It is not much fun.

These people should not be social workers.

The way she was spoken to was unacceptable. But the idea that anyone of her wealth would call and ask for a free pass to anywhere is also unacceptable. It’s greedy.

I’m sure you’re right. But what I can’t get over is why someone as rich as her would ask for a free pass to anything. She can more than afford to pay it.

Owning a construction company could be self-employed builder, or the Bezos of building.

America is so fucked up sometimes.

Recommending a knife because it can cut through strawberries is the worst recommendation I've ever heard.

Recommending a knife because it can cut through strawberries is the worst recommendation I've ever heard.

This woman is either a cynical manipulative deliberate liar, or for some reason she believes any interaction with a Black man must be a threat. Either way, she needs to not be around people until  she can behave better.

He asked her to put her dog on a lead in an area where dogs were supposed to be on leads. That's not harassment.

Lovely. Can I please be ungreyed now?

Oh, I have the Daily Mail blocker, I might get the DeTrumpify too.

Never have I been so grateful that I live in Scotland, wouldn’t attend a Trump rally if you paid me, and have a massive hormonal perimenopause spot on my jaw which I attempted to squeeze before it was ready and made very angry.

Also white Brits’ houses.

I like to do a big batch cook once a month and these

Why would you think that Greeks are light-skinned? It's a Mediterranean country and Greeks have Mediterranean complexions, like Italians and Spaniards - olive skin, dark hair, dark eyes. Obviously not everybody, in the same way that not all Swedes are tall and blond, but as a general characteristic.

Any chance you could ungrey me while you’re doing it, just because you might be my only hope?

But Entwives are part of the Tolkien canon. There aren’t women who think they’re married to sentient mobile trees. Well, there probably are, but Entwives aren’t them.

Heathcliff was a terrible adult. Mr Rochester at least was kind to Jane before he tried to bigamy her.

The Elephant House likes to claim JKR wrote the first book there, but she says it was in Nicolson’s, which isn’t there any more. Greyfriar’s Kirkyard is probably the one you’re thinking of.

Alan Rickman was incredibly attractive, and Snape is my favourite character from the Potterverse because he was so complex and intriguing, but anyone who thinks they’re communing with the spirit of a fictional dead wizard needs some sort of therapy.