Making sure the bar is stocked with what it needs seems like the whole point of the job, not “more than a satisfactory level of service.”

Time travel? I’d go back and shag Harrison Ford at his peak hotness.

Why are you pretending pores can be shrunk?

Why are you pretending pores can be shrunk?

Do you have some congenital inability to acknowledge the existence of Britain?

There’s an excellent book by Patrick Holford called The New Optimum Nutrition Bible. It’s 500+ pages of scientific research, detailed info on vitamins, minerals and other nutrients, and step by step plans to creating your own supplement programme. I recommend it.

I laughed til I cried at the cake busts.

I had a naevus removed from my wrist, but I used to tell people the scar was another mouth growing.

What the fuck are you talking about? And please, back up your “most bigoted” assertion with some evidence.

Fingers crossed this comes into effect throughout the UK.

So in his mind, trees die, fall down, dry out, then get up and explode? Is he smoking crack?

Midnight Train to Georgia is a phenomenon of a song, mainly because of the Pips’ backing vocals.

A friend of mine has a niece who used to go out with a bloke who has smiley faces tattooed on his knees.

Is that Gordon Ramsay?

I think gender reveal parties are stupid, but they’re not to blame for killing grandmothers. That’s down to the idiots who accidentally made a bomb.

Palate, not palette.

I think I disagree with some of this. “She falls apart when Angel leaves her” is a strange way of putting “she is very upset when she has sex for the first time with her first love who then turns into a demon directly as a result of the sex, kills her friend and tries to kill her, but she copes, foils his evil schemes…

Or, instead of halving recipes, make the full quantity and put the rest in the freezer. Every weekend, make two recipes, portion them out, freeze them, or every month spend two days making seven or eight recipes and freeze them. Soon you'll have a freezer full of tasty and nutritious lunches and dinners.

Or, instead of halving recipes, make the full quantity and put the rest in the freezer. Every weekend, make two…

He describes his efforts to avoid catching STIs as his personal Vietnam war? Does he realise the USA lost that war?

There isn't a single medication anywhere without potential side effects.

Dear letter writer