The stereotype that white people always carry ranch dressing around with them is not cool anymore. When you say ‘He’s already got his, that white boy over there’” don’t just fucking assume I’m carrying my own ranch dressing around with me you hurtful monster. I need it for my tenders and when you assume that I already…

Keep in mind, these are the same people that mock the concept of triggering and safe spaces. The people that go on television and break down in tears over “No, the white guy right there.” They mock triggering and safe spaces.

Eli, sadly, was not invited

Unfortunately she was later found to have an almost unprecedented level of juice in her system.

But who the hell goes to rehab for fucking steroids?

Mark Sanchez has studied this photo for several hours. And that was before he knew there was a question about missing legs.

Of course it’s not. Everybody Loves Draymond.

The shot clock in the Lebron dunk is at 13

Thank god. I’m out of the loop and definitely thought he had died.

Apparently they don’t teach split infinitives in public school.

Double negatives aren’t not confusing.

you know what other carpenter sparked a bunch of commotion in late december?

“You’ll ruin my radio career? How are you going to do that?”—and Sherman doubled down: “Video.”

Finally, Richard Sherman admits to pass interference.

Rivers: What the hell is that security guard doing?

Hey, I know people keep calling this guy Elite, but he gets into all sorts of trouble when he gets out of the pocket.

“What’s the problem? I was told to stand here, and wear this hat and jack..... oh shit.”

What if the hypothetical Boogie-to-Boston trade had been good? What if it had been bad?