Chuck would have karated the books, since they are vessels of information.

Christie Brinkley gave him a serious beatdown. Actually, rewrite, say it was Billy Joel; that would be less likely and therefore hilarious.

WITH HIS FACE.

More like Eaglefart, AMIRITE?

He is one hairy fuck.

No, Michael Gross.

You reviewed his death?

Dance on a table, get attacked by space plants.

YOU MEAN IN GODDAMN MOTHER-FUCKING HELL?

Zzz…what?

Where is my automobile?