If your violent speed bumps are like mine, they can be crossed smoothly by getting some speed and unloading the suspension as the wheels hit the bump. Before the front hits, rev and clutch; before the rear hits, tap the brakes (and clutch again if you're not still out of gear).

Currently Seattle? I didn't realize that cloudy and mildly cold weather had been named as such.

Stop judging Joe Brown

Beamer is valid, I think the article just got the wrong picture.

A good amount of stereo equipment. Two amps; I'm guessing at least four speakers, since I see one behind the seat, and I think I see one in the kick panel; relatively new looking CD head unit. Maybe the sunroof (unless LeMons counts it as a vent) and some other accessories could be sold off, too. I don't know whether…

Select to copy, middle click to paste. Works by default under GNU/Linux (or any system running the X Window System), can be had with various third-party gadgets on other systems. I still use an old three button mouse (and rest a finger on each button) because it's easier than pressing down on a scroll wheel.

Oh, this is hard. So many good responses already. So I'm going to say the Renault 4CV. Tiny, stylish, rear-engined, vaguely VW Beetle shaped, with four B-pillar-hinged doors.

Should have one of those painted on the car.

First thing I thought of when I saw it. That and sad clowns painted on black velvet.

Are these just aerodynamic wings? Or do they hold rear view cameras? I couldn't imagine a functional wing mirror fitting in there.

It is a beautifully paved surface.

Honda Passport

Looks to be as nowhere as it gets within the contiguous United States.

That that GIF loops makes it that much funnier.

The Karmann Ghia had some good self-deprecating advertisement, like this one.

I think a car that tells you what you're doing wrong rather than just doing the same beeping for everything is a good idea in theory, but having experienced a talking car I found some...flaws in practice. Some of the phrasing, like your example—who ever uses the word "ajar"? And repeatedly saying whatever just like…

Was there more than one dragster Isetta with the cab at the front? I'm only aware of the one Bruce Weiner had built based on Hot Wheels Whatta Drag, which has the rag top (though it looks like the Hot Wheels it's based on doesn't). But I agree it would be a bad idea to actually race it, though I don't know that it has…

Oops, 15%, not 1.5%, but still–no jams, 8.5 car length gaps for everyone. Also forgot number of lanes and a bunch of other factors that could reduce correctness of my calculations.