I thought he just drinks young blood, not necessarily pre-pubescent. Everyone knows teens have the most life and therefore the most vibrant blood.

Its often been cited that “There is no statue of limitations on sexual assault!” in the state it happened (mass? i think?). This is only half-true, for felony sex charges there is no statue of limitations, for a misdemeanor charge the SOL is 1 year. (so, 1985). So the question you need to ask yourself is, would a…

The Bowl of Damocles is hangin’ on top of my heeeeaadd...

“I understand college very well. Now, that’s where you cut up all the old pictures and paste them together to make a new picture, right?”

“I demand a recount.”

--Antonio Cromartie

I blame the injury on the airbag not deploying during the Carr crash.

When asked if he will spend his time contemplating the endless list of crimes he committed during his tenure, he replied, “I really think I suge.”

Why in the hell would you ever have her that close to such hazardous material?

“...Kermit and Miss Piggy smooch constantly...”

I heard Kermit and Miss Piggy had a fight....

He also had one of the finest scenes in the final season where he was drinking vermouth and playing piano and Peggy was roller skating around. 

Perhaps for the first time ever, Coach Meyer considers his best defense and fails to acknowledge the offense. 

I.... did whoever put this together watch season 7? Because, after Peggy, I’d say Roger is the person who ends the show in the best place emotionally.

The problem is he’s got billions of dollars, and while I don’t think you can buy a primary all that effectively anymore, I do think if a billionaire comes up to you and says “I’ll pay you to help me run for the Democratic nomination for President” most people will say yes.

That’s just it. The only person who thinks Bloomberg could ever be president is Bloomberg, but if he wants to pay me a handsome salary to be his campaign advisor, I’ll tell him his asshole smells like fresh strawberries.

Also, the headlines

Micromanaging employees’ footwear is exactly the kinds of hands-off approach I’ve come to expect from the party that routinely touts itself as being for “small government”.

Did you Irish goodbye in the middle of your own comment?

He totally was.