Rebekahzula Mercer: I can see your whole history in your eyes. You were born with nothing. So you’ve had to struggle and connive and claw your way to power. But true power, the divine right to rule, is something you’re born with. The truth is: they don’t know which one of us is going to be sitting down on that throne,…

The important litmus test when running for high office isn’t “are you rich?”

Well, congratulations on finding a way to disingenuously equate people who say Russia had no impact whatsoever on the 2016 election and people who say they had enough of an impact to swing the incredibly close results. Nobody can prove either one, so they’re both equally ridiculous propositions!

Give me a fucking…

You have no actual proof of that or that I just threw up under my desk.

He will be writing Tom Clancy style thrillers in a couple of months and be doing very well at it. That’s my best bet.

It’s weird to think that at some point in his life, Steve Bannon has cuddled.

um, are you saying that FB didnt promulgate an unending stream of fake news, anti-empirical BS for basically the entirety of its existence, let alone the 2016 election season? I deleted FB ~15 months ago due to the unending stream of easily and obviously false info hitting my feed. I dont miss it.

Two of the best players to come out of Duke think the world is flat, dinosaurs didn’t exist, 9/11 may or may not have been an inside job, and do “research” by reading random instagram pages. I blame Coach K.

Two guys who went to Duke think they’re smarter than everyone else, color me surprised.

It might be worth pointing out that the reason Drew Bledsoe got benched was because of a life-threatening injury.

Nah, you gotta drink that raw water, fools.

brita takes out the ancient particles that you actually need in order to decalcify your pineal gland and maintain true inner equilibrium, i.e. - no ankle sprains.

honestly: ankle sprains are just a holographic phantom of a truer inner projection of your ankles. I could explain more but that would involve you knowing…

Tom Brady never seems to sprain his ankles and he drinks water. I’m not saying Steph should start drinking water, but he might want to think about drinking water

If he keeps this up, Curry could end up on the Knicks by age 35

Dear Boss:

These young men and, really, more and more people are seeing that these young men, and I’m telling you the papers have been writing about this and about how I’ve been very strong in this regard, these young, strong men can actually be tied together with, I guess it’s this type of plastic cord, plastic cord that is…

I think you missed the real conspiracy theory, that Belichik traded Garoppolo to Brady’s childhood team out of spite to Brady. One last twist of the knife making Brady watch as Garoppolo goes on to great success with the team he grew up watching and likely always wanted to play for?

Honestly, as a Patriots fan, I’m kind of looking forward to it too. There’s an annoying, gross element of this fanbase that I increasingly can’t stand, and the only chance for it to ever be purged is a sustained period of mediocrity. I’ve already enjoyed more Super Bowl victories that fans of most other teams will…

Other than some idle speculation by local media, no one has previously reported anything close to the bit about why the Garoppolo trade happened. Beyond that, the piece sketches out details on things that people only knew about in a general sense beforehand, such as the weird split between Guerrero and the Patriots…