As someone who has crewed ultramarathons (3) and cheered at marathons and countless cancer-walks, I too am obligated to acknowledge your accomplishments as someone who I may or may not have cheered at as you ran by my station.

As someone who has run 10 marathons, I am obligated to salute you on beating me to it. And also mentioning my ultramarathons.

I don’t see a sticker on your Volvo so I’m calling you a liar.

Maybe he still has the world record for "oldest man to cheat a marathon"

I fear No.10 is at present too soggy to burn. Flop sweat is a helluva fire retardant. #youBrexit,youBoughtIt

Please tell me you own and use both of the items in this photo

I starred you on the ill-conceived notion that you were suggesting Downing St. this time.

This far north BBQ season is over. So we may have some supplies tucked in a drawer somewhere.

I cannot believe nobody’s addressing the REAL problem here.

Sorry we burned down your White House. Sorry. Sorry.

Ugh, the grays are gonna be all, “The Civil War was really about the salary cap...”

Learn your history. At one point the Union and the Confederacy combined forces to defeat Thanos.

The announcers further demonstrated their knowledge of history by predicting that the game would be a low-scoring battle, just like the War of 18-12.

Are you talking about the 1860s or now?

People don’t realize if you put a hockey puck in his mouth and crank his arm, you get a flattened souvenir token that pops out of his horse’s ass

C’mon, everybody knows the Civil War was fought by Donald Trump, Roger Stone and Dick Cheney against Martin Luther King, Jr., Diddy and Alexandra Ocasio Cortez on a riverboat casino in Kansas City, Missouri over a plate of half-eaten chicken wings, a wall on the Canadian border and slavery.