Southern White People, not White People.

You don’t have a gun?! Wake up, boy, have you not seen what’s happened to this once great land of ours? Obummercare is legal, a great symbol of heritage and heroism is coming under attack by the librul PC police, and now nancy boys (and butch girls) can marry and possibly make my poor children gay in the process. The…

Again, I’m surprised because I thought it had been passed long ago (Clinton-era), and because the states I was living in (with the obvious exception of that right-wing shithole, Tennessee) also recognized sexual orientation as a protected class. Also, as I’m straight, it’s not exactly like it’s on my radar all the…

I don’t know why, but for years now I thought that sexual orientation was one of the Protected Classes. It wasn’t until the past few days when I heard comments, such as yours, when I looked it up and was surprised not to see it there. I knew that gender identity wasn’t protected, but I could have sworn orientation…

Overreaction is the new American Way.

Curious. Neither my wife’s, nor my, computers have the icon.

That is straight-up awesome.

Actually, I was being facetious. The worst thing I ever did during my long tenure in the restaurant biz was to touch someone’s food before I took it out of the kitchen (one, quick, tap with a dry fingertip). Nobody would get hurt, and I still felt better.

You’re hilarious.

I promise you that these are the same types of parents who believe that the whole world is their babysittter. The bathroom, with the changing table, is literally 20 feet away. There are two of you in the lobby. One of you can damned well pick up your little shitmaker, and change them in the bathroom, while the other…

You, clearly, have not done this work long enough. It will come to you in time.

A work colleague of my wife’s was at a sushi restaurant for the first time. When the food arrived, he asked what the green stuff was, and some asshole at the table said it was sweet and he should try some...so, he grabbed the WHOLE THING and popped it into his mouth and swallowed. My wife said she thought for sure…

That’s okay, I hate Illinois Nazis, too.

If some 0f these people had been born as sea turtles, none of them would have made it to the ocean.

Sometimes it's just not that simple. My wife and I don't oral each other at all—but it's because she neither wants to blow nor get eaten. Now, mind you, I LOVE IT when I can make her come. I like to know that I can make her feel good—and, fortunately, she's able to do that with intercourse alone. Also, even if I…

Psh. I totally called the kazoo, even before I got to the part where Drew nailed it.

Not so much with the mental issues—but dead on with the culture of never being told "no", just because he can play a fucking game.

I used to work at a place that was somewhat known for its ribs. We served them by the full and half rack. At least once a day, some dumb fuck would ask me, "what's the difference between the full rack and the half rack of ribs?" I used to tell them, "nothing; one just costs twice as much."

1. White person here, who doesn't want anyone to say it, ever.