Saw this on Gawker last week. This dude needs.... a hell of a lot of things, actually. Not going to try and list them all.

Why isn't he hacking semen?? I'd like something in a root beer float flavor.

Hypothesis: the bias towards dating one's race has gone up since 2009 because earlier adopters of internet dating were more likely to be nonconformists and more open to date people of different backgrounds. As the masses have all joined the internet dating trend, the real conservative preference in the population is…

Well, she's right. You can't really trust anyone's Facebook feed about real events. Everything positive is shown. Photos are carefully cropped to get rid of squalor. Children are never shown screaming their guts out or misbehaving, except when they are really little. You carefully avoid mentioning that place on the…

Hi there. Real American hero here. Thank you all for the support! You can find me at @dravenrodriguez on instagram for more updates, and feel free to sign the petition! Every bit helps.

I am very uncomfortable with how cute I find this high school senior.

Seconded. If they won't allow crowdfunding for one legal medical procedure, why are they allowing crowdfunding for cancer treatments, medical bills to pay for surgeries for injuries, etc.?

So, I can rape 8 women and raise money with GoFundMe for my defense. If one of those women gets pregnant and needs money for an abortion, they can't use GoFundMe. Makes sense.

The only reasonable course is for us to rally and demand that GoFundMe also prohibit crowdfunding for all other legal medical procedures.

You can still raise money for cops who kill unarmed children, though. I will never, ever use this piece of crap site for anything again. GoFundMe can GoFuckItself.

Sometimes I think it would be cool to travel back in time and meet the people who built these edifices and congratulate them on their amazing mystical visions, only to have them say, "What? No, we just thought it would be pretty. See over there? We can see the animals drinking at the water line at sunrise, it's very…

Nor is it Reagan meeting a young George W.

Or, kids are weird and do weird shit like flop around on a sofa while their parents are busy talking, and the parents don't see it before the photographer does because they're busy talking to the president.

The guy with this face wanted the world to see him fuck. Beside the absolutely horrendous criminal act he committed against the woman, ponder the fact that this guy, possessor of this face, presumed to think the world needed to see him fuck.

Winter is coming...all over your face.

Autumn boyfriends get scented candles and the stamina they have acquired from taking so many trips to Montauk, Coachella boyfriends get glow sticks and a woman wearing a Native American headdress sitting atop their shoulders

I'm willing to bet a substantial amount of money that the person who wrote the ad is a 5'9" hipster dude who's irritated by prosaic profiles on OkCupid.

They're obviously just looking for Scott Eastwood.

I want them to fight the Coachella boyfriends in a cage match

12 years of Catholic school here... That used to be super common, with Catholic families having huge amounts of children, and the cherry on top being the bonus "oops!" baby conceived just as the woman was entering menopause and thinking she was in the clear. The rhythm method didn't help much, either.