I would like to think that I would have provided a loud descriptive service for every one who couldn't see in the hopes that it would shame them into stopping. But I guess they must not have had any shame in the first place.

I was also bothered by the CDC' s super inconsistent quarantine practices, which put a kid in full-on bubble-boy confinement before knowing that he was contagious while letting everyone who had already come in contact with him just walk around willy-nilly even after knowing he was contagious. Plus, the Roanoake colony…

It burns! Fuck partisan bullshit.

Seriously, yes! My roommate was taking Valerian for his restless leg syndrome. He decided to double his dose because it wasn't working that well. I said I didn't think that was safe. He said, "But it's all-natural!" Dude! So are belladonna, foxglove (aka digitalis) deadly nightshade, and arsenic. I wouldn't want to…

I'm exactly the same, except it's "draw you a picture, design your invitation, or do all the crafts for your wedding."

Me too, although at times I think the waves are too close together. I got tired of hearing myself complain a couple of weeks ago and decided to delete my OKCupid profile. I have been on a lot of dates in the past few months, but didn't really find any of those guys attractive. The guy I did find attractive is…

I had a dream like that once. I headed for a house of prostitution to give it a test drive. It was a fun dream, but I'm fine with what I've got for now. Of course I don't live in Texas.

Yes, people have a right to their opinions. However a doctor has a responsibility to keep things professional, to reserve personal opinions for personal time, to separate what is icky from what is unhealthy, to treat women as adults with autonomy and reason, and to provide medical services like birth control…

Wow. I would have called the police and had him charged with assault.

You're all wrong, the person in question is Tea Pain.

This sounds like a story! [Whips out campfire and marshmallows]

I have a friend who is an educational psychologist with an emphasis in gifted learning. He has frequently mentioned that gifted learners and kids on the high end of the autism spectrum have many traits in common. It is possible that your child is both. Since he doesn't have any developmental delays, the people who…

I could be completely misremembering this, or it could be an urban legend but thought that ancient statues of Bacchus and Priapus were usually depicted with erections. It was my understanding (maybe I just dreamed it?) that temple acolytes would make offerings of sex by actually being pentrated by the statues. I also…

I prefer to think of it as John Oliver and Wil Wheaton agreeing, which reinforces the rightness of my universe.

According to John Oliver, you should feel like a good, honest person who was duped.

I would say that yes, you are me. Except that I don't drink so all of the stupid shit I do, I do sober. My friends are still pretty understanding.

Generally I'm more likely to have sex on my mind and be in the mood for sex if I had sex yesterday than if I had it a month ago. But if I haven't had sex for a long time, I could feel meh about it or I could practically have an orgasm when the checkout clerk at the grocery store touches me on the shoulder to tell me…

Man, if I could stop the serial dating and just have the name of me ideal match delivered to me, I think I'd be willing to give up some of my privacy too. Because this, the way I'm doing it sucks.

Out of curiosity, how did you respond? I woul have been torn between finding the cleverest retort ever, and being super passive agressive.

You are literally my favorite person in the world.