Also clueless.

More like a massive micturation, amirite?

This person must be a blast at parties.

My wife had a C Section and was pretty much out of it for about 7 hours after birth. She lost a ton of blood and had a massive fever. I had almost no help. The nurses virtually left me to fend for myself. I like to think one of my only strengths is that I’m always pretty cool under pressure. Not then. I mean I didn’t…

Plus plenty of help as soon as she steps back inside her home, plus round the clock access to health care providers and every type of monitoring. Everyone could go right home half a day after birthing a baby with all that back up.

Did you ever see the Queen of Versailles doc that was on Netflix a while back (not sure if it’s still up) about the wife of the bazillionaire timeshare guy? They started making the film about his wild success/her lifestyle, and partway through the housing market collapsed and credit dried up and his whole business…

Parenting while pregnant is NO JOKE. With each successive child I had, I became convinced the newborn was the easy part. I would take the new baby and say, ohhh time to go nurse him/her...and slink upstairs to a quiet, cozy nursery, sit in that comfy glider and nurse, while listening to the chaos my husband was…

I spent the better part of my older child’s Year 3 feeling like, “So God is real, and he’s punishing me...” I often referred to him (among my girlfriends) as an emotional terrorist, cock-blocker, or “not my kid.” People talk about the “Terrible Twos” but, holy shit, just wait until your kid is bigger, faster and mouthi…

... are you, like, outside, or something?

Well, look. The plural of anecdote is not data, but if you collect 10,000 anecdotes you’re going to have a representative sample.

They don’t help when your couch partner is constantly interrupting you to ask what happened, mainly because she can’t stay off her phone for five goddamned seconds to pay attention to the show that SHE insisted on watching!

Apparently the Lions did their document search using the wrong Fontes.

100% this. I use a similar argument when people try to debate raising the minimum wage.

Some people read books, some people read reviews of books. It’s always easy to tell who’s actually read it based on nuance.

Three-year-olds are the reason I only have two kids, as well as the reason that it took me seven years to decide to have the second one.

a boundary testing asshole who is occasionally mistaken for being my 3 year old child

“Make torture great again”

The worst thing is that there’s almost nothing you can do to them other then gain a crapload of grey hairs and wait for them to get a little older so that you can attempt to reason with them and teach them more socially acceptable behaviors, like “Listen to mommy/daddy and you will be happy” compared to “Finding new…

Only thing more annoying in my opinion is the people that ‘discovered’ something that people have been doing for decades.

Unless you are wearing one of these kinds of masks, they are not going to do any good preventing airborne sickness.