I’ve played soccer my entire life and do a fair bit of road racing (5 half marathons under my belt), and I’ve never had a toenail problem.

Even though my stomach always gets upset the morning of a race, I decided to stuff myself with barbecue and drink several beers the night before a 5-miler. I thought, “Why not? It’s a short race and I’m not looking for a PR or anything.”

Is part of the replay missing? I just get “it’s gotta be a hanger”. No home run call or location.

Or at least get up and mill around (near the machine) between sets, giving other people a reasonable opportunity to ask to work in. Nothing worse than the guy who takes long breaks while sitting on the bench / machine / rack looking at his phone.

“The whole point of a ‘brand,’ from a marketing perspective, is to encourage people to develop an emotional attachment to a product.”

Wait - this wedding?

Per one of the articles I read, they were prototypes that weren’t put together quite right.

Just out of curiosity, what’s it take in your neck of the woods to get top 6%? Here in NYC, you’d have to run 6:20ish per mile in a 10k.

On the phone thing:

Selectively slowed-down replays that make the putt look much closer than it was?!

Whoa, whoa, whoa - I’m not down with that Muslim Coke. This is a Christian nation, dammit.

Every response: “... so then I acted like a complete asshole and ruined someone’s day/property/outlook on life. It was awesome!”

For me, the precise moment of jumping out of the plane produced an incredible rush of adrenaline.

Mr. Former FBI Agent probably has no clue what he’s talking about.

Miss Piggy has always been a terrible, insufferable character. I wish her nothing but the worst.

“Waaah! Waaah! I have to keep my AC off! I can’t sleep because of the white noise drowning out the traffic!”

Fingerprint scanner is actually a pretty fantastic feature. I have an iPhone 6 for work and an Android device for personal use, and I really, really wish my Android phone kept up in that department.

Fingerprint scanner is actually a pretty fantastic feature. I have an iPhone 6 for work and an Android device for…

“Eke, who attempted to tear off her ponytail, no doubt to disguise her appearance so that she could creep out of the stadium and hide under a rock for the next three to four months”

Right? It’s so sad how all of the Americans who don’t own guns are constantly being murdered. Good thing all of the murderers-in-waiting are unsure whether I have a gun or not, as that’s the only thing keeping me safe.

Only problem is that as my fiancee constantly knocks it off the couch onto the hardwood floor, the touchscreen buttons gradually stop working. On our 3rd remote now...