This time of year, Sweet Tart Jelly Beans are a seasonal delight.

I don’t like Brach’s candies because anytime I see the name, I think it’s the answer to the question, “How do these candies taste?” “Brraaaaachhh.” “Oh, that bad?”

In the latter case, it’s an indication that El Cuco is somehow still alive, reaching out to Holly using its creepy projection power; the scratch would suggest that it is going to attempt to adopt her face and mind, which is very bad news.

I’m going to have say that having a shortage of Baby Yodas for little Johnny or Suzy birthday or christmas presents will be one of the last things grandmas and grandpas will be worrying about right now with the Covid-19 floating around.

The fact that I like some movies that other people don’t doesn’t “make me” more intelligent and more sophisticated, it just reflects my superior intelligence and sophistication that were there all along.  

Gee, I’m real sorry your Mom blew up Ricky. Doctor says she’ll be okay though, just can’t eat any spice food for a while.

“Keys!!!" 

Two favorites at my house:

No baby yoda? Now what am I supposed to wipe my ass with?

I can’t narrow this down to one film! However, a big contender would be:

No mention of The Princess Bride?!! Inconceivable!

Airplane is right up there.

My wife read a thing that recommended having several gallons of drinking water in case of a quarantine, and she was like “why would a quarantine shut off the water? This is just a hurricane preparedness article with the disaster changed.”

Hoarding toilet paper means you avoid wandering outside to refresh your supply.  My sister just said to me, “Yeah, but if you’re out, you can just jump in the shower, especially if you’re confined at home in a self-imposed quarantine,” and I said, “Lazy bitches want toilet paper, not the option of showering every…

8 oz bottles of the Dollar Tree brand of hand sanitizer are going for $195 on Amazon.

People, it’s not a magic shield.  

At this point I feel like letting the damn virus make its run through the U.S. is the better option. Airports are open, people are going to crowded places...it’s unlikely you’re going to be able to avoid it unless you just stay home.

I’m bummed. I had a badge for the EDU part and now I gotta go to the office like a schmuck. 

I am totally interested in the answer to this and I would love to read about it. Do I want to watch a video about it? Absolutely not. In fact, I dont want to watch nearly any videos on this site. I barely watch videos on Youtube. Quit trying to make me watch them here and let me read.

How did Hulu’s new Hillary Clinton docuseries get such great access?

That’s true. I thought my son wouldn’t get Inside Out, but he seemed to enjoy it, and he was eight at the time. I thought it was... interesting but it didn’t exactly “speak” to me.