I think an argument can be made for ‘underlying cultural assumption” being what “forces” people to think a certain way.

I am willing to bet that a decent number of Ashley Madison account holders never act on it. Probably the thing I miss most now that I am a boring monogamous person is that initial flirtation and meeting with someone new. How exciting it was to get to know a new person, right before you discovered what an unbearable…

Let’s try to clear this up even if the end result is we agree to disagree. I do not care if I am right or wrong, I am not trying to die on a hill for a quick comment I made and to which you seem to have taken great personal offense.

This is the post in question
“Plenty of people are very happy in monogamous…

This is such an important comment, and it covers so much ground.

Agreed, completely. I’ve been really surprised by the vehemence over the hack here at Gawker.

JFC you’re full of yourself. I can’t speak to what someone else said but you seem fine doing so. I am going to copypasta so there is no confusion,

A good analogy would be a closeted homosexual in a heterosexual relationship—in fact, we had a good example of that recently where the overwhelming response is that Gawker had “ruined this guy’s life,” regardless of the fact that he also made the choice to attempt an extramarital affair. Human beings are complicated…

i think the assumption that everyone that signed up on that site cheated is wrong i think you made some assumptions. sometimes people say what they mean but i have no dog in this fight you can both feel like youre right

Regardless of what Dan Savage thinks, you are completely missing the point here. The point isn’t that the cheating is political in some way, it’s that most people exist within social constructs that have the potential to make it really difficult to be honest with themselves, let alone those around you. Immediately…

It would be so great if people could just be honest. I’ve been with the same man for 14 years, we’ve been married 2. We have been monogamous and we have opened things up, we have an honest open dialog about what we want and need at any given time. Our friends don’t understand because it’s not exactly socially…

Except for society.. glorifying marriage, condemning cheaters and ‘slut shaming’ are all part of it. Not to mention the social engineering by governments by establishing incentives for marriages. Monogamy is not what we are genetically predisposed or historically inclined to do. Traditional marriage is a woman being…

I think that’s what she’s saying though. If people realized they didn’t have to be monogamous and find people with whom they could be in open or poly relationships with, they would be happier and it would lead to less betrayal because folks were being true to themselves and honest with others. Monogamy isn’t a bad…

I agree with almost everything you said...with an addendum to the “open marriages are becoming more accepted” part. While non-monogamy is more accepted than it was years ago, it is still not presented as a reasonable option in our culture. Most people don’t make an active choice between monogamy and non-monogamy -…

Right and the anger exists because people are CONSTANTLY pressured into thinking they MUST be monogamous. So much so that they agree to it even when they don’t think they are capable. This is the start - it comes BEFORE the lie.

“Plenty of people are very happy in monogamous relationships”, I think with only 3 zip codes in the entire US not having someone registered, there are lots of people who claim to be happy in monogamous relationships.

I’ve been thinking that it would be great if this opened a greater dialog on monogamy and relationships. I mean how many of these people are Christians who think that marriage is between one man and one woman? I am betting the number is pretty high. Clearly what we say, is not what we do.

Newsflash - people have a really hard time being in long term monogamous relationships and society’s weird, unnecessary and CONSTANT shaking finger makes it harder for people to just be able to admit that to themselves, and find relationships that DO work for them. But SURPRISE when you guilt them into obeying…