Analysis: how long since last defecation?

another poop-related question I have, though:

Cease Bowel Functions.

I love this team. Very psyched for them to get crushed in the conference finals!

when have we ever seen a punter like King?

I miss the old Chiefs/Raiders rivalry, where Ray Guy did The Hustle for several minutes straight after pinning Kansas City behind the 10-yard-line and then Walter White would try to one-up him by doing the Funky Chicken in the end zone after scoring and then Ted Hendricks would brain Walter with his helmet.

The drama kids and dance kids always had fun rivalries in high school, too.

(Get off my lawn, etc.)

Whatever you need to tell yourself, man.

I fully expect Draymond to use the “Luigi defense” should someone tell him about Bishop’s statements.

Glad that’s settled. Now I can go back to trying to program the VCR. It’s Matlock Marathon Wednesday.

As a millennial I can assure you this is not a meme.

You act like this kind of thing is unusual:

It shouldn’t take a record-breaking Wonderlic score to figure it out himself.

Another thing he might have forgotten: Ryan Fitzpatrick went to Harvard.

Tune in to ESPN at 8 PM EST on Saturday to see who gets his room in the Nissan® Heisman House!

If he were a good Christian he would have been found alive inside a boulder.

It’s one of those closely guarded secrets of the league, like how Antonio Gates used to play basketball.

He went to Harvard? WHY WAS I NOT INFORMED?

To be fair to the NFL, it would be pretty awkward for the entire Browns teams’ shoes to say “please trade me to literally any other team”