It’s really got to be hard to be your father’s second choice for a date.

Rohan Davey and Michael Bishop are sad at your lack of memory.

Pictured: Case Keenum pointing to which receiver he’s going to throw to.

“He made a move,” then you have a completion. He starts to make a move, but then it’s out

I saw Mad Max: Fury Road at almost midnight on a Sunday, which was fine, except I walked out of the theater more pumped than I’ve ever been in my life to run through walls and fight and shit, and it was 2 a.m. on a Monday and the streets were abandoned and I had to go home and go to sleep.

Once again Patrick you buried the lead. Panthers are the best undefeated team in the NFL right now.

“Oh, goddamnit. Now everyone is going to think I’m a Colts fan.” -Rex Ryan

This is honestly such garbage. Some fans don’t like cocky ass holes. The default hot take is because they are black. It’s just nonsense. I can’t stand Cam because he is a front running ass hole, who will rub it in your face every time they are winning, but turns into a whining petulant child when they are losing. It…

I broke my arm when I was 13. When they took off the cast, my tendons had healed a little too tight. I found out that I could throw a baseball incredibly fast. I got signed to a major league team and did really well closing out games. I eventually reinjured my arm later in the season and had to retire. But I’ll always…

Jimmy Fallon is tricked into eating a poison pill and has a minute to say something not-phony for an antidote pill or die.

I’m a Pats fan, and I look forward to this article every year. It’s hilarious, shows more of Drew than he realizes, and is pretty accurate in some regards.

Counterpoint: Why Your Team’s Great: Bob Kraft formed Run CTE.

If CBS values my opinion so much why isn't Kevin James buried neck deep in hippo shit right now?

+1 shiny nose.

Speaking as a veteran, this whole thing has fuck-all to do with veterans, and the people saying we’re being somehow “disrespected” by Kaepernick’s actions are full of shit.

colloquialism

He buys a 1,000 piece jigsaw puzzle, and is having trouble putting it together “puzzles don’t exist”

That is my daughter, sir. I would appreciate it if you didn't call her a monster. She is perfect in every way.

+1 Teacher...IN SPACE

“Typical. A little late tackling the O-ring problem.”