German Samurai

In my dick of the woods I can see a movie for $7.50.

Doctors hate me.

Oh no! Everyone needs to play more videos games help reduce the risks.

Cool gimmick, but not sure I’d ever want to buy one.

I didn’t literally say, “Fuck that shit.” Also, I’m very good at covering my tracks. The 90's were a different time. Not as much helicopter parenting going on. Kids could still wander the neighborhood unattended. We even had wrestling matches in the backyard on the trampoline. Hahaha, a lot of kids got hurt. Good…

I’m gonna be honest, I just picked a name at random. First name to come to mind.

It’s easy for us puny humans to forget the truly immense size of the world. For example: Texas is so huge that the entire human population can comfortable fit in the state with every single person having about 1,000 square feet all to themselves.

Barbara? I thought you were dead!

I’m not a toy... or am I?

Anybody have a creepy doll story?

People should have the option to choose for themselves. It has zero affect on you. Can you imagine if other goods and services worked like this?

Objectively false cause I’m never wrong about anything.

Remember kids, never smoke toad. If someone offers you toad, just say no!

Pretty much all the blame for those issues is squarely on the cable and ISP companies that have strong armed themselves into monopolies. Any potential competition that pops up they fist fuck to death. Zero competition means they don’t have to do anything at all to advance the infrastructure. But now they can’t do…

Alright, alright, alright... Picture this. We got this restaurant, ya sees? We make the food. And when an order is ready, a biker comes to drive the customer around in a sidecar while they eat!

You’ve heard of the wolfman, but what about the dogwoman? No, that’s not catchy enough. How about... Nightbitch?

Faaaaallllout eyes!

I actually had more fun with Diddy Kong Racing than I did with Mario Kart. Not sure why, maybe the progression system.

Me: Oh shit! It’s my boy Billy Hatcher!