“talked about the process of auditioning for the part of Ivan Drago,”

The gif cuts early - this ball got past the 1B and the runner advanced to 2nd on the error. Giving away extra bases instead of eating it seems like a pretty bold strategy.

If someone had a gun this could have all been avoided.

These young people with their Slacks and their Juuls and their Fleeks.

*I have no idea what a Slack is either.

I’m not even sure why we measure time in seconds anymore. A base unit of Tom Brady Son Kisses is way more logical.

They are a testament to what public schools can produce if students have support at home and in well-funded schools.

You really think Shaquille O’Neal’s kid is on the take? Shaquille O’Neal’s kid is so desperate for cash that he’d risk his college eligibility, and decide where to attend school, over $100k?

I am super pissed about the curling.

Right, but as far as I can tell, there are no German players on 2-way NHL Contracts, and there are a lot of Canadians on them.

2-way NHL/AHL contracted players are also inelligible.

We’re not even butt hurt about this, but I’ll leave this here:

I thought that I was actually looking forward to this tournament. I thought it might be interesting to see what kind of team we could field.

I mean, to be fair, these are Canada’s like, 500th best players, whereas Germany’s are all in their top 30 for National talent.

Still winning anyhow

Trolls gonna troll.

Definitely not posting this only kind of related tweet because I am Mad Online..

oh bless your heart for “thinking” it’s about sexism (I put thinking in quotes because you’re more just an outrage artist).

I can let it slide, as long as it’s quick, and once. Sometimes you gotta know if you can hold your pee to the end, or if you need to make a quick sprint in order to enjoy the rest of the movie without pain.

Can I get a hate addendum for cell-phone-left-at-desk-with-ringer-on?

From Goldin Auctions’ website:

You shouldn’t be choosing your credit cards based on ATMs.

You shouldn’t be choosing your credit cards based on ATMs.