You left out the best part:

I would hit every part of this course without a doubt. I mean after careening of the first obstacle I’m sure my blood would be all over everything in that gym.

Two shattered ankles on the first bosu ball, followed by a concussion as I rolled off the mats onto the hardwood floor. I am not graceful.

Y la dinamita hace boom!

“benefits of public cooperation”

I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again: police union spokesmen are the worst people in America.

I can’t really blame him for not wanting a nickname that references a prolifically murderous drug lord. Kinda like when the Royals’ closer Joakim Soria asked people to please stop calling him the Mexicutioner.

Ceausescu was not shy about dictating. He was a very bad dictator.

I’m shocked he admitted he was a person.

$34M last year for this, people. There are doubtless several million people in this country who could do a far superior job, and most would happily do so for <1% of his salary, but sadly their daddies weren’t U.S. senators. Yeah, the NFL is “always about meritocracy”, alright. Get fucked, you born-on-third-base…

With his weapon drawn and pointed at a man face down on the ground and handcuffed. Truly our officers are so brave!

I don’t want to get into a macro-level discussion about the state of soccer in the US. We should be so much better than Honduras that our 3rd stringers demolish them. Our population is 33 times larger than that of Honduras, and they are one of the poorest countries in the world. It defies all logic that they do not…

The Yankees-Red Sox Rivalry: What it would be like if the Trump brothers hated each other.

As someone who has had personal interactions with Steve Loomis, you can take it from me. The man is a huge asshole. He may be the biggest asshole I’ve ever met, and that’s saying something because I worked as a journalist covering politics. So I met a lot of assholes.

Man, that’s really going to sting. Imagine it. You’ve bought tickets to the home opener. Sure, you don’t think your Browns are going to do much this year, but we’re all 0-0, and it’s it great that football is back. Anyway, you get your gear, you drive out to the stadium. Maybe do a little tail gating. And then it’s…

After reading the quotes attributed to him, I am fairly convinced that Cleveland Police Patrolmen’s Association President Steve Loomis is actually a bot that tries to aggregate comments from Fox News Facebook posts into something resembling actual human speech.

People are getting very creative with their excuses to avoid watching Browns games.

If he makes it to Labour Day no one in Canada’s going to wear a properly-fitted hat for the rest of the year.

The Next Matt Stares

I’m a little disappointed you only found two things to complain about on this play. I kinda feel like his shirt could’ve used a nice ironing prior gametime.