They’re lying to you. No one always does their best.

In all fairness, nobody’s won with a floor routine that’s 50% thumb-dance since Nadia Comaneci in 1976

“The problem with Phil Jackson is that he holds the joint too long rather than passing it, leading to a inefficient and uneven baking in the drum circle.”

It’s always sad when a team gets this close and then has to watch it all slip through their finger.

Gonna be a real tough road to the playoffs. JPP has had a really good season, and has been the best player on the Giants’ D, hand down.

Lookin’ good R2D2ESQ!

Since my gram passed away from cancer I’d support that cause.

Not really.

“Hey, I just wanted to let you know before the news gets out, I’m being punished by the NCAA. For texting your mom too much. By the way, has she said anything about me?”

Seems harsh since 415 of the texts were just “new phone who dis?”

A guy named Mike who wants to “nuke the gays” will temporarily fill in while the head man is out of commission. Thank goodness this is only football and not any sort of consequential situation.

Sherman calls someone out for being a poor winner and disrespecting other fans?

Maybe Fisher plays in a fantasy league where he has Amendola as a flex.

Nope he’s in his 30s. When I was in high school (02-06) I had him as a substitute teacher a couple times, so he was already in his 20s by then. He’s an alum of my school

“International Federation of Bodybuilding president Rafael Santonja”

Bird was also on fire that game.

Such a ridiculous double standard when it comes to catching your spouse masturbating. The few times I’ve caught my wife or found out about it later I’m like “Hey now, that’s hot...want some company?” But whenever she catches me it’s all “Gross! What’s wrong with you? At least wait until the funeral is over!”

You’re missing about two hours of your first year of law school, apparently.

He wouldn’t have gotten hit if he wasn’t acting like such Awini.

Everybody cared about Henry VIII’s boner. His boner created the Church of England.