Women have smaller brains and can’t handle the complex world of greenlighting a project—unless that project is breakfast.

One out of eight people in that room is black—or 12.5%.

You’re a hack.

It is hard to roast a team about how much they suck when they actually suck.

Since they’re so desperate on defense you think they would just hand him the job.

And this was the best comment you could come up with?

This is the universe I choose to live in.

Andy:

Now it all makes sense why the Patriots called a pass play for the Seahawks.

If you’re scoring at home:

We all know that Captain Kirk was a real Wildcat.

She’s a real Wildcat.

Oh cum on!

Everything in moderation, including moderation. But not in Texas.

Token.

Is this some sort of satire that I’m not getting?

“the obscenity of watching young men ruin themselves running headlong into each other;”

Like, if you grew up an Alabama fan (LOL you fucking hick) and then went to school at Northwestern, I think it’s fine to like both teams.

Are you saying Tom Brady gave a deflated ball to Russell Wilson?

Chris Christie has no chance to become President SPECIFICALLY because he’s a bandwagoning fat fuck who likes this team.