“Burn one girl at the stake you’re a terrible father, burn an army with a dragon and you’re a great mother.”

This is the third triple crown I’ve “witnessed".

If you ever go back, find Bathtub Gin. It’s in an alley, with a nondescript door.

You waited up all night to be first.

Bill Burr is awesome.

Amazing third period by the Hawks. It’s always nice to catch lightning in a bottle.

It’s the Empire and all their affirmative action b.s.

Duh.

I considered the fact that maybe he thought she died, but him reacting with “Oh no,” would come off as disappointment that she didn’t.

pwned!

pwned!

These embedded videos from MLB are the worst.

What does a world without football look like?

I get that when comedians go onto a show like Conan, they work on material—but that’s his entire interview. It’s like he has it set up so that Conan (et. al.) ask set-up questions for their material. It’s terrible.

Only if Melissa McCarthy goes first.

John Oliver wins again.

What do you think is the worst regional trait that each major region thinks is a virtue?

There are certain people/groups of people that the majority of the internet seems to collectively hate: Nickelback, Skip Bayless, Darren Rovell, etc.

Being cryogenically frozen is SOOOOO 1980’s Sci-Fi.

I get emails from the Nigerian Prince, Molefi Oliphant, all the time about large sums of money.