There are certain people/groups of people that the majority of the internet seems to collectively hate: Nickelback, Skip Bayless, Darren Rovell, etc.

Being cryogenically frozen is SOOOOO 1980’s Sci-Fi.

I get emails from the Nigerian Prince, Molefi Oliphant, all the time about large sums of money.

Padres?

Which is the exact opposite of what Ceres Cafe in Chicago at the Board of Trade does. The “soda can special” is your choice of alcohol filled to the top of a tumbler glass with a side can of coke.

Do you think the Dragon in the Bhutan flag is spinning Baoding balls in its large talons?

Refills.

That’s right—If you can’t figure out a way to solve a problem just create a penalty or fine system.

We all know Def Leppard made that song first.

Someone hide Erin Andrews.

I might have been about six or seven years old and wasn’t really allowed to drink soda. One day, I asked if I could have a drink of my dad’s Coke.

Dependents/Allowances. Potato/Tomato. You meant what I knew.

He’s trying to save their souls, by putting out the soul catcher flames.

Little do they know, the hair is used as a soul catcher.

Nope.

Nope. I do it every year. I owe what I owe, which is less than I would have paid—which is why you get a tax return. It’s the illusion of a benefit. Penalties and interest are only incurred after payments are due when it’s determined you owe taxes.

YTD Federal Income Tax. Goodness.

I was hoping for Andy Kaufman to reappear—Jim Carrey coming out as Andy Kaufman would have been epic.