@MichaelAvenatti is one of two accounts that has me blocked on Twitter. The other?

It's a good thing Boban didn't get involved. None of those guys could have stopped him. I mean, I didn't see John Wick out there.

Huge day for Nike - Tiger’s kid is covered in the swoosh for the victory walk after 18, and Tiger’s shoes didn’t explode a single time.

The city is great, but most of the racist fans live in the suburbs. Just like Boston, Philly, Atlanta, and Minneapolis.

Totally, man. What’s with all these words when the entire article could have just read “Raiders acquire Antonio Brown for 3rd and 5th round draft picks, immediately sign him to three-year contract with $30 million guaranteed.” If I wanted more information than I can get from the “transactions” section of the sports…

We get it. It should have been pass interference. 

Look I’m not bitter I just want the correct call at the correct moment. If that means a booth review every time the ball moves an inch in either direction and an extra two hours added to every game and the game is irrevocably broken as every instance of every play is examined down to the last micron and all of you…

I’m still irritated with Iman Shumpert because 2k16 Shumpert always positioned himself just in front of the 3 point line, so you had to remember to step back before shooting, or you’d be taking 23 foot jumpers all night. 

Now here’s a fucking graph.

I’m reasonably certain that several members of Alabama’s defense realized sometime this week that a dominant performance tonight would have meant that they were going to get picked by Washington in the draft, and this was the quickest way to avoid it.

“! Period!” is a pretty damn confusing string of text.

Please. Serena’s incident was not in any way a “meltdown,” “collapse,” “choke job after going up a break and then throwing it away,” or “moment of barely believable selfishness that distracted from the fact that she was getting run off the court by her young, rising-star opponent on the cusp of a thoroughly impressive…

This isn’t a meltdown you monster. Serena has a daughter.

13 years ago, Logan Mankins was ejected for punching Denver DE Ebenezer Ekuban in the groin. Some talking head (Collinsworth I think? Someone else?) described the scene as “being punched right in the ekubans” and now we have Ebukam.

LeBron’s hair looks like a post-wildfire satellite image of California.

“Bit-O-Honey ran a good campaign even though he lost to Ted Cruz.”

As much as I want to be happy for the Celtics and how they’re doing all this without their 2 biggest stars, it feels like I’m watching old yeller and the Warriors are the metaphorical shotgun after this series is over.

Indeed. Who among us hasn’t plowed a shopping cart into the back of an unsuspecting stranger’s legs upon seeing them get away with having too many items in the express checkout lane?

All bold? Get a fucking grip.