at the risk of sounding like a lunatic, people who get up on planes are the fucking worst. sit down and shut up. we’re all miserable. getting up does nothing but inconvenience someone else.

Respect this, motherfuckers:

i remember that night vividly and probably will never forget it. such a fucked up sequence of events, and the Raw the next night was a brutal watch. My dad, who didn’t give a shit about wrestling in the least and watched it with me to bond, even was getting choked up at the tributes.

regret? that fact makes this all the better. #MakeAmericanCowsShitOnTrumpSupporters or #MACSOTS

Bruins in 5. You heard it here first.

ron burgundy would never fucking say that word

additionally, having some uber-lefty in the white house will NOT result in major policy change. you want change? get your ideal state and federal reps elected. the president is a lightning rod for the opposition. move congress to the left and a milquetoast democrat president will be more effective than bernie with a…

Glad you made it through this ordeal. This was a tough, but important read. Life is entirely too fucking arbitrary, and we (all of us, really) ignore that fact. As easy as it is to dwell on the bullshit, don’t let it control you. Nobody knows how much time we have, so enjoy your life and embrace the ones you love.

jon and dany walk into the throne room. don’t stop believing by journey is the only soundtrack. no dialogue. the camera keeps panning to the main door. a guy in a members only jacket walks in. jon and dany advance to the throne, slowly. the camera keeps panning to the guy in the satin members only jacket. jon and dan…

nah, its “my dear myra!”

thanks, now i’m reminded of how turner and hooch ends and my 7 year old self is devastated again. 

Us in Massachusetts are just driving like assholes to get away from drivers from Connecticut who, without a doubt, are the worst drivers on planet earth. Its like they are obligated to cut off 4 people and drive at least 200 yards down the sidewalk each time they start their cars.

counter point: toucher and rich once hung up on rick pitino 2 seconds into the call, which was comedy gold “you ruined the celtics! you stink! *click*”

very true, but then he’ll go on a 12 game hitting streak with like a .457 average, 6 doubles, a triple and 2 dingers. then he’ll have a month long slump hitting .097, but hoovering every ball within a 2 mile radius. dude is so baffling. 

re: gym farter — put an out of order sign on the treadmill adjacent to you.

Sansa is just happy that Jaime brought Starbucks north with him, they only have Dunkin north of Moat Cailin. 

Die Hard, Dumb & Dumber, The Good The Bad The Ugly, The Shining

hey, you mind your tongue when you’re talking about the first cabbage patch doll to ever make it to a MLB roster

best farley on SNL: schmitt’s gay beer,  the hidden camera decaf (“ANNNNNGRYYYYY”), good morning ft lauderdale (aka “over the weekend you stupid bitch”)

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! I DON’T SPEAK JAPANESE!!