I’ll stick to not caring and the occasional pineapple.

Clearly he’s never had a double-double with grilled onions.

What do you think is the worst vegetable? I say onions. I’ve never eaten something and said “You know what? That could’ve used onions. That would’ve really made it better.” They could disappear of the face of the Earth and I wouldn’t care or notice.

Dude, you’re both losers, relax.

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I mean, if Raider Boat didn’t come with Legionnaires’ as standard, it would certainly have it before November.

SO, ABOUT THE HAIR It’s a bowl cut, yes, in the Roman centurion mold, but it’s much, much more. The reddish-blond bangs, each strand the exact same length, the geometrically precise feathering over the ears — not so much a haircut as a feat of engineering.

My favorite part of that same article was when it talked about how he goes all the way to Palm Springs every couple of weeks to get that same awful haircut.

Didnt they uh actually go to the Super Bowl? And get summarily raped by Gruden’s Bucs?

hehehe look at how mad it got!

I’m gonna assume that’s from The Onion, even though it’s not.

RAIDER BOAT, but only if we can send Drew Magary and Nathan Rabin to cover it.

I own a tuxedo T-shirt and many Raiders shirts. I deserve every word of this.

Everything you need to know about where this franchise is headed can be gleaned from the opening paragraph (THIS WAS THE FUCKING OPENING) of a profile of their owner.

The Rich Gannon Raiders honestly feel as far back in the past as the Industrial Revolution. They were a Tuck Rule away from going to the Super Bowl; how is that possible?

Any time my Raiders fan friend gets excited about their prospects, I look at him and just say “JaMarcus Russell”

Are the parking spaces big enough to fit his van?

That haircut is business in the back, Megan’s Law in the front.