Reading this in a meeting and trying so hard to not laugh out loud.

I’ve got no rebuttal. /Hangs head in shame. Reaches for the bowl to deal with it.

Yep, wake up at 10, load a bowl at 10:15 after your morning dump, make a huge thing of ice water, then play FIFA/Madden/NBA until about 3 pm. Then eat lunch and pack another bowl, and your pretty close to 5 p.m.!

“Hey Panda! We don’t take to kindly to your folk round here!”

+1 Division Problem

I’ve got nothing to add, but your screen name is fucking perfect!

This is COMEDY GOLD

Shay Given is 42 years old on my team (Stoke City) in my FIFA 16 career mode.

Where the white women at yo?!?!?!

Hey man, if this club entails banging recently graduated co-eds sign me up!

You must be new here

BOOM! Got him.

My balls are in a tiffy!

You been hanging out with my friends at 2:45 a.m. I see.

You sir, are a goddamn poet!

That last sentence tho! Let er’ rip!!!

BURN!

WIDE RIGHT hahahahahaha

There’s gators in the lakes and rivers of Manatee and Sarasota Counties. But everything else is spot on.

I hope he gets his dick pecked off by 1,000 Flamingos. #DicksOutForPinky