I don’t know if you’re right or wrong in your assessment, but I will say that Lynch has it fucking made, in that, even when he does something awful, his fans will sit there and figure out a reason why it’s supposed to be awful. If a sequence is just a string of pointless, oddball footage taped together, it’s “dream…

Some people lack a sense of humor.

Just thinking about it makes me start to crack up. “their footsteps have been the highways and byways of my days on the road. My shadow is always with me, sometimes ahead, sometimes behind, sometimes to the left, sometimes to the right. Except on cloudy days or at night.”

Exactly, it was meant to be ridiculous, Lynch knew exactly what he was doing.

That whole scene was hilarious.

Come on guys, Wally Brando was the best

Obligatory.

If only Doug had the pitchman power of Troy McClure.

let me tell you about my country.

That mission was pretty crap, but it would’ve been a minor annoyance if it weren’t for that absolutely bullshit call for help. I don’t know how anyone played that and thought, “yes, this is a fair and entertaining thing to include in our game.”

I want to... i-i-i-ink you from your head to your toes.

Of course not. This is a ludacris fantasy:

“I’m not dense, my mom says my concentration of mass is perfect!”

You’re either being intentionally dense, or you’re the genuine article. I don’t know how I could make my point any clearer, but you keep missing it.

To someone unfamiliar with football, the basic actions performed by the players are still comprehensible. A ball being thrown and caught. A player running forward and getting stopped. All of that is understandable without any additional information. In a game like League of Legends, a non-gamer wouldn’t even…

No. You’re missing the point. To somebody with no knowledge of video games, you can’t even tell which real-world person is causing which thing to happen on the screen. It’s utterly meaningless. Not just difficult to understand. I could watch a game of soccer and understand which player is kicking the ball without…

I don’t enjoy watching sports either, but e-sports are even worse. You don’t have to understand the mechanics of more traditional sports to be able to understand who is pulling off a feat and appreciate the skill or physical prowess necessary to pull off that feat. With most video games, a non-gamer wouldn’t even be…

No, and not only because it isn’t a physical activity. It would also, for the vast majority of audiences, be incredibly boring to watch.